“And I'm S-I-N-G-L-E again (yup). Outside hanging out the window, with my ratchet-ass friends” - Glorilla
Ladies and Gents hot girl summer is scheduled to start Memorial day weekend and thanks to Glorilla we have the perfect summer anthem. If you haven’t heard the song, download it now. It's called F.N.F which stands for fuck nigga free. Basically this viral acronym means a female is single and no longer worried about somebody’s dusty ass son. While numerous females are enjoying this song and making funny Tiktoks to the audio, the male species are upset per usual. They even created their own remix to the song which gives off hater vibes in my opinion.
I’ve come to realize some men, specifically black men, hate when women are living their lives and not worried about them. For decades black women have catered to our men and given them our all while putting ourselves last. My generation is the first set of women who are able to be free and live independently without somebody’s son and let’s be real, most black men hate it. Don’t get me wrong I love my black kings but the hate towards black women living their single lives needs to stop.
Let’s really get into why society and some black men don’t want black women to live their lives and reclaim their time.
What’s wrong with black women wanting to be a city girl? It’s fair to say that city girls can be labeled as gold diggers and being with somebody solely for money is wrong, but other races of women have always been taught to think about their financial security before love. I promise you if Johnny didn’t have the bag and good credit, Sarah Beth wouldn’t fuck with him, and he definitely wouldn’t be bold enough to ask her nor her parents if he could marry her. Black women have always settled especially when it comes to financial wellness. Inflation is real and settling for the bare minimum when it comes to finances is dead. Also, how is she a city girls if she’s getting to her own bag and requiring him to be getting to the bag too? Some women are automatically labeled city girls or gold diggers for requiring reciprocity. To be honest I’ve been called a gold digger before and that statement use to bother me but now I don’t give a fuck. For the record city girls aren’t bums. They have their own money, but they require their men to have even more money and trick off on them. Also don't call yourself a city girl if you don't have shit to your name and you fuck with men who are bums or not financially stable.
What’s wrong with black women being a hot girl? All Meg has done the last two summers (outside of getting shot) was finish her degree, be about her business, party, be with her man, and twerk that ass. I don’t see the issue with partying and twerking especially if she’s being respectful to her man and she's still reaching her goals such as graduating from college. Too many men hate for women or their girl to be outside, but if she’s loyal, partying or going out of town with her homegirls isn't a threat to y’all’s relationship. I think some men know that there’s better men out there and if you're outside you're liable to run into a better man. Also if you start to live your life without him, then one day you might realize that you're better off without him. Till this day no man has given me a reasonable explanation for why they hate the hot girl movement and for the record being a hot girl never meant fucking on a bunch of niggas.
What’s wrong with being fuck nigga free? On some real shit not being worried about somebody’s son is one of the best things you could do for your mental health. At no age especially in your 20’s should you be stressed and worried about somebody’s son, There’s so much more to life than being worried about a man and if he was a fuck nigga it was time to let him go anyways.
To any woman reading this, especially black women, be whatever type of woman you desire to be and somebody’s son will still love you and treat you right. There’s this narrative thanks to male podcasts, society, and Kevin Samuel that no man will want you if you decide to be a hot/city girl or live freely in your 20’s and I hate that stigma. Despite how society views women there’s so much more to us than being groomed to be a wife and a mother. I want to travel, live by myself in a different state, and do so much more besides focusing on the day that somebody’s son deems me worthy enough to be his wife and mother of his kids.
I can say that making certain decisions in your 20’s or early 30’s may delay you meeting your husband, but if it’s meant for you to be a wife and mother then it’s going to happen. Even my momma has insinuated in the past that I needed to stop being a hot girl if I want to be a wife and my argument always was "I need to live my life, then I'll be ready to be a wife." There's this audio of Beyonce that I love where she saids, "You really need to live your life and open your eyes, and you don't want to wake up with no memories and never really being able to see the world." I shouldn't have to pick between being me and being who somebody's son would want to marry. Part of being with somebody for life is accepting them for who they not, not who you want them to be, and currently part of me is being a hot girl.
Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to fuck 25 niggas and do other reckless shit because for every action there is a consequence, but I don’t believe women should buy into the scare tactic that living a certain way means nobody will want you later on in life. If it's on your spirit to do certain things, do it, and remember certain parts of our journey is to help us get to where God wants us to be. Once again if your meant to be a wife and mother the stars, the universe, or whatever higher power you believe in will make sure that happens for you.
At the end of the day I’m going to be a hot girl.
I'm going to smoke some hookah and twerk.
I’m going to still go on an eat, pray, love journey later this year.
I'm going to move to a lit city where there's endless opportunities for brunch and mimosas.
And anybody’s son who has an issue with that isn’t the man for me.
“Bitch, imma be sleep peacefully before I be drunk and motherfucking stressed and depressed bout’ a piece of man that ain’t motherfucking mine, bitch is you serious?”
Link to other relevant blog post about being a hot or city girl.
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