Disclaimer: I mean the word bitches in a nice and endearing way.
“I don’t know nothing about that lifestyle or whatever y’all got going on cause that’s not me” - Some girl from Tiktok
If you've been on social media then you know Lightskin Keisha had the girls ready to tussle this past weekend. If you haven’t seen the video, she’s basically saying if she’s out with her girls and her man calls, she’s leaving her friends to go be with her man. Most females who commented on Tiktok said that she’s wrong for having this mentality and I was shocked. A lot of bitches are in denial about how often we as females leave our friends or willingly change our entire lives because of a man. Unfortunately, I've been guilty of this as well.
So I did a poll on my IG story and out of the 20 ladies that responded, 70% said they’re going to see their man. Whether you leave or stay is up to you, and I loved how all my homegirls that are like Lightskin Keisha didn’t vote, at least they know what type of friends they are. I do feel like leaving because your husband called is totally different than leaving because somebody’s dusty ass son called. We all have that one friend who’s bf ain’t shit, yet she’ll stop breathing if he told her too.
If it was me I wouldn’t leave my girls because my man called. First off, he knew I was going out so why is he calling me. Secondly, I don’t do well with somebody’s son trying to tell me what to do. Even if I was ready to go, I’m rebellious as fuck and now I’m purposely staying out longer to prove a point (I know I’m petty). Third, I’m a space needy person so if I made plans to see my girls, then that means I really wanted to hang out with them. As I'm getting older I don't see my friends as much so sorry not sorry I value my time with my homegirls. Fourth, my man would know better than to call me if I’m out smoking hookah. In the words of Nene Leakes, “You done lost your damn mind and when you get your damn mind you call me.”
Now, I’m not sure if Lightskin Keisha was being serious or joking, but I think we as women should evaluate why having a man triumphs everything else, including our homegirls. My girls get on my nerves sometimes, but I love my bitches, and I don’t want to be with anybody that doesn’t respect my friendships or understand that I had a life prior to dating them. I’m also wondering how often is this man calling you when you go out. If you're out every weekend till 2-3am then I understand why he’s calling, but if you don’t go out like that then why TF is he calling to end girls night out. Worst case scenario if I dated somebody with this mentality I would compromise and maybe leave an hour early, but I’m definitely not grabbing my things and leaving at that very moment. Furthermore, we would have an understanding that if he can call and summon my ass to come home then I can definitely call and end his night out with the homies whenever I want to. Niggas love to implement one sided ass rules and conditions, and that type of shit doesn't fly with me.
I get being in love and enjoying the honeymoon phase of the relationship, but after a certain amount of time it’s not healthy to continue to be all about him, in my opinion. I’ve experienced dating men who didn’t want me to be outside and at this age I’m not dating those types of men anymore. My last ex was just like this. I remember one night I was at my bestie's house. She cooked, we were having wine, and reading the sex scenes from my book. He called me and asked me what time I was going home and I said I wasn't sure. He insinuated that I needed to go home soon because he wanted to see me. Mind you he already knew I was going to hang out with her when I got off from work. To make a long story short, I got home at 1am and he called trying to berate me. Ugh, the audacity and mind you I never said shit about him going out or canceling plans with me to see his homies.
Now if you're confused or in denial about what type of friend you are here’s my top 3 signs that you're definitely like Lightskin Keisha.
Your friends only hear from you when your relationship is in trouble. We all have a friend or maybe multiple friends that never respond to plans or text messages until there's trouble in paradise.
You're always ready to live or let whomever your dating move in with you. Chilee 3 out of my 4 best friends are notorious for this. Honestly, I'm even more confused on why he would be calling you to come home when y'all live together and see each other every fucking day. It's giving insecure and controlling.
You don’t want to go anywhere if your man can’t come. My rule is don’t bring your man if he’s not paying. I want to hang out with you, not you and your man.
To wrap it up, do whatever you want to do when it comes to your man and navigating your friendships. Keep in mind that some friends will understand the “my man my man” mentality and other friends may not be interested in maintaining this type of friendship. I love all my friends and I’ve gotten use to the homegirls who’s definitely the “my man my man” type while I'm the “it’s a hot girl summer, but my man is coming to pick me up afterwards” type of friend.
“I like men who do what I say, but still have me in check. But never tell me no. But don’t let me run all over you.”