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Love Lessons From Who TF Did She Marry?

Disclaimer: If you haven't read the cliff notes or watched the 52 part playlist (500 minutes) this post will contain spoilers.

"I'm getting real tired of your broken promises, promises." - 3LW

Between Teesa's ex husband & the guy from Tinder Swindler, I don't know who's worst at telling unprovoked lies and finessing women. This situation reminds me of a major grievance I have with men which is them feeling compelled to tell unnecessary lies when they initially meet a woman that they're allegedly interested in. I somewhat understand when they lie later on down the road to avoid losing their girl, but at the beginning it's the best time to be honest or at least not telling outlandish lies. You have nothing to lose at the beginning. You haven't invested any time, money, sex, or energy yet. This man and other men like him are the epitome of being emotionally abusive, narcissistic, and a pathologically liar.

Let's clear up a few things before we get into the love lessons

  • She's not lying for clout, views, etc. Some women really want love by any means necessary and I know of two women in real life that lowkey experienced some of the shit Teesa went through. There's also other people who are mentioned in her story such as the ex-wife and her son who have made response videos confirming that Legion was everything that Teesa said he was.

  • How could he afford to pay the bills? Life and bills during COVID was vastly different than the inflated ass society we live in now. 4 to 5 years ago you could rent an apt. for under a stack so her rent being $900 is very believable, and she didn't live in ATL, she stayed on the outskirts. Furthermore, he was only paying the main bills like rent and utilities while she was still paying her car note, insurance, and little stuff. Between him not having other bills as well as having the option of finessing the system by getting unemployment or utilizing the stimmy checks it's definitely possible that he was taking care of things financially until his knee incident.

  • Some people being concerned with how people found the free time to watch a 5 hour, 52 part series is weird. If you're on social media then you're consuming some form of content, what's wrong with a million people tuning in to her content. It's also crazy how people will listen to podcasts or binge watch a series in a day or within a weekend, but everybody tuning into a messy story time is where people draw the line, be fucking for real. Just like most people listen to music, a podcast, etc. while they're running errands, cleaning, working out, etc is exactly how people watched 5 hours of content. If you don't want to see it or you're tired of it log off and come back sometime next week.

  • Her story telling skills are impeccable. Over the course of a few days she released a 52 part story time that ran down a fast pace yet eventful timeline. Then she followed up with a live to answer questions and uploaded the live in clips for people who missed it. She took story time content to a new level. I haven't seen a story time get this much engagement since the 148 tweet thread regarding Zola going to FL with a stripper (what a time to be alive in 2015, that story was epic).

Love Lessons

  • Online dating is dangerous. The moment she said she meet him online I knew this story wasn't going to have a happy ending. Online dating apps is the playground for dusties and incels. I remember a while back one of my bff had to get a restraining order against a guy she meet online. Another story time went viral last year when a lady explained how she meet somebody online who turned out to be a stalker, and he didn't stop until she shot him for trespassing. The paid dating apps aren't as bad because active users view dating as an investment, and most of those apps do some type of background check, but apps like Tinder and Hinge is a no go. And before somebody comments this, yes I meet my ex on Tinder, but my situation was an exception to the rule. We were together long term and I did my do diligence to ensure he wasn't a fraudulent man. We had our issues but we didn't part ways based off some hidden or new found information. Between online dating and the socials people can wake up and be whoever they want to be. It's time to take the vetting process seriously starting with doing thorough background checks, and if your going on a first date please share your location with somebody that you trust.

  • Emotional abuse is real. This man got off on promising her a lifestyle that didn't exist. To encourage somebody to look at an BMW or Audi and tell them you're going to purchase it and have it delivery to their home knowing that's not going to happen is nasty work. It's even worst that he asked her to leave work so the car could be delivered and of course no delivery was made. His sick ass enjoyed watching her get excited to only break her down. Healing from emotionally and mentally abuse is hard because it's not something you can visibly see and reprogramming your mental after some b.s is a lot harder than people think it is. She will likely need some form of cognitive behavioral therapy to heal from the psychologically damage that his lies has done.

  • Always have your money together. It was harder for her to walk away once she got accustomed to him paying the main bills especially after she got a new car and she even admitted that she couldn't afford it without his help. Ladies I don't care how much money he has please have a secret stash or keep being a get money type of woman. There's nothing wrong with a man taking care of you, I'm high key praying my next nigga is going to pay some of my bills, but never get so comfortable that you can't afford your lifestyle without him. Outside of Teesa's story a lot of woman such as some of the IG baddies and well known baby mamas fail to tell us that they want to be done but they can't financially afford to leave him. Finances is one of the top 3 causes of divorce but finances is also why some women keep deciding to stick beside him.

  • Accountability. Outside of her story being wild as hell unlike other TikTok story times she takes accountability. She was a victim to a point, but most of the time she was being desperate and dumb. When you see red flags please pay attention to it before you end up at six flags and unfortunately after a flat tire, a miscarriage, failed attempts at buying a home, etc. she still ended up at six flags. There's an ongoing narrative that men are master manipulators but psychology supports that most people aren't mentally capable of being a true manipulator. Ladies stay woke to the game, peep the red flags, and stop falling victim to the bullshit.

  • Stop dating out of desperation. God never planned for her to go through this, but she insisted on sticking beside him despite the number of times that God continued to give her an out especially before she married him. She admitted that being desperate and ready for "her turn" played a major role in her decisions at that time. Being lonely is real and honestly I'm in a season of loneliness but allowing any and everybody to fill that void is a recipe for a disaster. Waiting your turn can be agonizing (trust me I'm tired of waiting too sis, God where's my BDB?) but it's better to wait instead of trying to make fetch happen.

  • Love bombing. Applying pressure is one thing but a relationship moving like the speed of light is a major red flag. They meet in March, he moved in 2 weeks later, she was pregnant by June, & they were trying to buy a house together. Everything happened too soon and had she would've done her research initially instead of a year later her story would've been different. Ladies don't get so caught up in the facade of love that you forget that you don't know too much about him nor his past.

  • Homelessness. I get so tired of people making it seem like men be having their shit together when in reality too many men don't have nothing to their name including no place to stay. Any man that can move in with a woman under a short notice was homeless or about to get evicted from wherever he was residing. Personally, I don't believe in playing house with somebody's son especially if he thinks we're going 50/50, but to each it's own sis.

  • Proof of funds. A man promising to handle something financially but failing to do is a red flag. Furthermore a man with money wouldn't ask you to spend your money. I remember a guy I met a while back wanted to take me on a trip for the first date, but a week later he was asking me for $30. Red flag alert. Then he had the audacity to tell me he has money, but he was testing me. Muah..blocked. To avoid a man wasting your time pull his money card by asking for some shit and see what he does. Also there's nothing wrong with dating a man who's not a BDB but capping about being one is nasty work. Ladies don't fall for it until you see proof of funds.

  • You put your trust in a nigga, stupid hoe how you figure. Khia has been told the girls that fully trusting a man isn't a good idea. Personally as I've evolved as a woman I can admit that part of a healthy relationship requires trust. However, never trust that man to the point that you stop trusting yourself. Teesa was so caught up that she ignored her own intuition and she admitted to losing herself along the way. Trust him sis, but verify everything especially if it's questionable. Female intuition never lies.

Now that I've addressed the serious aspects, let's laugh about some of the bullshit he lied about

  • He played arena football. Pulls up Google, types in arena football, and immediately starts shaking my head. Lying about information that can easily be Google is crazy.

  • Pretending to talk to his brother everyday for over a year. Being on the phone by yourself for 30 to 45 minute daily is psycho behavior.

  • Pretending to be a VP of a company meanwhile he's a temp forklift driver. He was better off saying he was a warehouse team lead/supervisor before he did his big one by deeming himself the VP. The craziest thing about this story is he was able to take care of her based off his current job and she was happy. He didn't have to mention a job that didn't exist nor promise her a certain lifestyle. She appreciated him and loved him when he was mediocre at best.

  • Killing off his stepdaughter and requesting $2k towards her funeral is nasty work. Meanwhile he hasn't talk to his stepdaughter in forever, and she's very much alive.

  • Taking her to a cemetery to see people who weren't his family is straight up cruel. It's one thing to lie, but he became so committed to the lies that he was taking his actions to the extreme.

  • Taking on his brother's identify and being delusional enough to act out he's twin life in real time. During this part of the series is when I started crying laughing. This man literally attempted to reenact his twin brother's lifestyle, he's unhinged and too delulu.

  • Checking into the a behavioral health hospital so he could have somewhere to stay for 2 weeks. He seriously should've been evaluated. All jokes aside he suffers from some type of mental illness to lie to that extreme.

  • Falsified documents. Baby I know that printer was tired of him from the false bank accounts to false London itinerary. That man is worst than the people that print off fake pay stubs.

  • Making a family friend believe they had a son when she had a miscarriage a year prior was so unnecessary. The way he would add and subtract people from his lies could be a case study.

  • She meet him in ATL. The scamming and con artist city especially during COVID was the first red flag. He proceeds to fabricate an entire family tree and past life that never happened. Listening to how his background and family tree started to unfold and crumble was interesting to say the less.

Let's get serious again.

Although I couldn't relate to her story, I still have empathy for her and like minded women who want to love and be love by any means necessary.

This story time was wild, yet comical to a point because Legion was unhinged and a menace.

But it was more of a cautionary tale that somebody's daughter needed to hear.

Yes she was dumb and desperate, but I pray she's healing and able to mentally withstand what's to come from sharing her story. I also pray God sends her a good man, and to take it a step further I'm praying all the around the way girls get a happy ending.

"All I really want is to be happy and to find a love that's mine, it would be so sweet."

- Mary J Blige

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