Pretty Privilege is Problematic: Unpopular Opinion
Disclaimer: I know I’ve been M.I.A and I had every intention of addressing that during this post but it was on my heart to write about something else. Also there’s an important form at the end, please help me out and complete the survey.
“A pretty face will get old, a nice body will change, but a good heart will always remain.”
Social media is most people’s guilty pleasure (Tiktok has me in a chokehold) and a lot of us are addicted to it whether we want to admit it or not. One reason we’re addicted is because something viral or juicy is always going on. This week's viral moment was Erica Bank’s close friend's story and the jaw dropping news that Nia Long’s man stepped out on her.
Erica Banks situation
Miss Banks decided to record herself saying if her friends don’t look a certain way they can’t come to the club with her. At first I agreed with her because certain environments require a certain dress code and look, but she lost me when she started talking about body shapes, aesthetics, and her brand. First off, I’m glad she said what she said and stood on what she said. I don’t agree with her but I can’t stand when people back paddle and fake apologize for how they feel once the backlash starts. However, for somebody who swears their brand is important to them, I’m confused as to why she would record herself saying that shit, let alone upload evidence and proof of this statement to social media even if it was only supposed to be viewed by her close friends. Certain shit should be left unsaid.
Secondly, I’m glad somebody leaked that video to the blogs so her non industry friends and fans can know how she truly feels about them and their looks. I believe in having a difference of opinion, but there’s certain shit that people do and say that would make me reevaluate why I fuck with them. This statement should make all of her friends evaluate how and why their friends and her fans that don’t meet her standards should discontinue their support for her immediately. It’s clown shit in my opinion to support somebody who would say fuck you in a heartbeat.
Third, what she said is what a lot of shallow bitches are thinking. Looks aren’t everything but in the music, nightlife, and social media era looks influence how people treat you. Granted she can’t control how other people may think and feel, but she doesn’t have to exclude her friends from certain events. Personally, I wouldn’t want to associate with anybody who’s too embarrassed to be seen with me at certain events and I don’t care to hang out with somebody who’s too caught up on other people’s opinions. My friend circle is very diverse and I’ll be damned if I make my friend feel insecure or inadequate because I want to appease people who deep down don’t like me either.
Fourth, her looks haven't always been up to par. Prior to the BBL she wouldn’t have made the cut to be in the sections either, and she used to look like she ate chicken wings like the rest of us. It really amazes me how bitches get their body done and become brand new. Not to mention her being dark skin is another factor that would get her turned away from the sections.
Fifth, this video started a necessary conversation regarding why some bitches shouldn't be friends. A few months ago I said any friendship built on looks won’t last and I still stand on that. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of her friends that she deems pretty was the one that sent the screen recording to the blogs. Bitches that link up because of looks are good for Instagram likes and lit nights only. These bitches aren’t solid and a lot of them would do grimy shit such as fuck your man, share negative shit about you on social media, and so much more. Being pretty is very surface level, and as real shit starts to happen you need friends you can count.
Long Live Nia Long’s relationship
Nia is black icon who’s played some iconic roles. She's been that girl since the 90’s and most men desire her, however her long term partner has allegedly been cheating on her which has created an uproar and hella think pieces on social media.
First off, why is this situation gaining media attention? It’s giving Tiger Woods part 2 and till this day I’m not sure why that situation was the media’s business either. Secondly, I don’t condone cheating but we don’t know the whole situation. Lastly and most importantly being pretty and demeaned one of the most desirable women on earth doesn’t exempt her from being cheated on. To be clear Nia hasn’t made a statement yet but from all the posts I’ve seen her level of beauty keeps being mentioned which is the aspect I’m speaking on.
For some reason bitches believe looking a certain way entitles them to certain treatment from men and I’m here to tell you again that looks are very surface level. A lot of beautiful women from Halle Berry to JLo to Beyonce have been cheated on so why would Nia Long be the exception. The bigger conversation that needs to be had is looks doesn’t guarantee anything. Looks will attract a certain type of man, but his character will determine how he treats you.
Furthermore a lot of bitches that’s labeled pretty by social media standards are boring and believe that being pretty is all they have to do. Being pretty doesn’t equate to them being a good person. Being pretty doesn’t mean they have personality. Being pretty doesn’t mean shit else except for they’re pretty.
The first thing bitches do when a man cheats is start comparing looks or accolades as if that’s the only reason he decided to fuck with her. I’m sure most of you have seen people comparing Lil Durk’s baby mommas and the harsh truth is India is pretty, but outside of looks is she really any better than his alleged dark skin baby momma. Clearly he saw something in her to fuck with her and fuck her raw at that. Looks as well as achieving certain accomplishments really goes to a lot of bitches heads and none of these things matter to a man when he decides to be disloyal. Being the baddest bitch on the block is cool, but looks fade and the newness of fucking with a new bitch wears off too which is where his character and the foundation of your relationship matters more than anything.
To wrap it up, I used to be cool with somebody who told me “A lot of people talk about how pretty I am but what does that really do for me? When I die I want to be known for something other than being a pretty face.” That statement and conversation we had regarding looks stuck with me over the years. I love that social media has allowed women to make money off of their looks but when the looks fade and the body is no longer bodying what else do you enjoy and want people to love and admire about you. I definitely think you should care about how you look and get enhancements if that makes you happy, but at the end of the day make sure your soul, mental, and how you treat others is just as pretty as your face and body.
To conclude, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship looks will attract certain people and a certain level of attention, but looks aren’t the end all be all especially if you want something real.
“I wish more people cared about somebody’s character, personality, morals, and values as much as they care about somebody’s looks.”
- Erica Nicole
During my time away I got approved for an Amazon Storefront (one of my goals for this year) and y’all can officially shop with me.
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