Disclaimer: For once there isn't one lol.
"Leaving your hometown in your 20's is a life hack."
Omg I can't believe it's been six months since I moved to Houston and I'm finally getting adjusted. I never hid that I left NC, but outside of Tiktok I was hesitate to share where I moved to because at one point I wasn't sure if everything would work out for me to stay in this city but here I am six months later.
Let's rewind to summer 2022
July 2022 is when shit got real from being in the process of getting a new vehicle, to my job starting to do major layoffs due to the economy and business being slower than anticipated, to addressing more health issues, and to top it off I have 90 days to decide if I'm going to move across the country or go back home and regroup.
Like the boss bitch that I am I decided that it was time to leave NC and keep in mind leaving NC is something that I've wanted to do since I was 23, but the timing was never right, and honestly the timing wasn't right this time either but I said fuck it and I told myself "if not now, then when."
To make a long story short from July to October I cried a lot. I'm going to doctor appts and I'm worried about shit that I can't change such as my health issues and the state of my job, but through it all I managed to find an apartment, book my flight, scheduled to get my car shipped, and get everything setup for move out day. Mind you as I'm getting everything in place for the move I'm still working from home and bartending on the weekends.
Move out day was bittersweet. I cried from the time I woke up to the moment my parents dropped me off at the airport and to my surprise I cried during my flight too. October 21, 2022 was an emotional day. Greensboro will forever hold a special place in my heart. I came to that city a few days before I turned 18, with hopes and dreams and over the course of nine years that city gave me what I needed to get through college and survive most of my 20's.
My flight lands, I stay in a hotel overnight, and I move into my apartment the next day. Being alone in my new apartment was a fully circle moment. This moment was something that I've wanted for years. The stainless steel appliances, keyless entry, living in a new city, and best of all finally living by myself. I'm on a happy high but that feeling didn't last long...
10 days after moving, my job finally said in 2 weeks they were letting me go due to lack of work, and I had survived each major layoff until the holiday season. I wasn’t sad about my job ending because I felt like it was time to move on to something else. However, moving on would’ve been better and easier if I already had another job lined up.
November was dedicated to applying for jobs which is also when I went MIA from social media and I was barely responding back to my friends. Although I was glad that I finally left NC I was annoyed and anxious about my finances and job situation. Due to the holiday season approaching I quickly noticed that nobody wasn't planning to start hiring until January so I applied for server and bartender positions and I accepted the first part-time position that I was offered. That job was awful from the 30 to 45 minute drive to work (HTX traffic is horrible) to barely making $80 a night. I quit that job 3 weeks later and I managed to find a bartender position and another server position around Thanksgiving.
December is here and the reality of the money not residing from serving and bartending hit me hard. Restaurant money in Houston is way different than it is in NC. Nightlife and restaurants that aren't main stream or franchises are more popular, therefore a typically American restaurant such as Applebee's doesn't generate as much traffic. Therefore, the second server job wasn't bringing in the bag either, but my bartender job was going well but I still couldn't afford to go home for Christmas, pay my bills, and go to Mexico for a friend's wedding in January. I decided to pay my bills and put my flight to Mexico on a payment plan.
Not being able to go home for Christmas was depressing, and at this point I'm not sure when I'll be able to see my parents again. I'm scared and lonely and nothing is going as planned. This is when I started contemplating breaking my lease and moving back home because of how rough my circumstances were. Shoutout to God and my parents for carrying me through this season as depression and anxiety was hitting too hard.
January rolls around and I'm in Mexico for a friend's wedding. Financially I should've missed the wedding, but I felt like it's not my friend's fault that my life was going to shits and weddings are once in a lifetime plus my international bff had moved to Mexico and this was the perfect opportunity to see her as well. Mexico was too lit and those 6 days away was the reset that I needed. Prior to this trip my life had been on autopilot mode for the past six months, and it felt great to put a pause on my reality.
Surprisingly life started to get better when I got back from Mexico. My server job promoted me to bartending which is where the money was residing, while my other bar job was going well too. Then my previous job spin the block and asks me to come back as business needs have picked up again, then one of my other besties ended up moving to Houston and decided to live in the same apartment complex as me. I'm still in survival mode but I'm starting to have hope that I'll be able to stay in Houston.
March 2023 I started back working from home but my contract is only for a few months and it could be renewed but nothing is guaranteed. So the search for a FT job isn't over but I have a few months of freedom from being financially stressed and as of now the job search is starting next week which gives more than enough time to find another FT position.
Although the state of my life has been good for a few weeks now, I'm still scared that I'll be back in survival mode if I don't find a job by this summer, but I have to trust God and know that he's been by my side through it all and I didn't come this far to give up now.
"God wouldn't give you more than you can handle."
I recently went to NC to visit my family after not seeing my parents since I left and I haven't went to my actual hometown in almost a year. Prior to this trip I kept questioning if I made the right decision to leave. During the rough times I felt like maybe I should've went home when my lease ended or maybe I should've moved to Charlotte where I already had friends and my family would've still been within driving distance and if I miss them I could easily drive home. The should've, would've and could've have been weighing on me since I left but after being back home for 5 days I can confidently say I made the right decision to leave.
Here's some things I've learned from this chapter of my life
There's no such thing as the right time. Life is always lifing and if it's on your heart and spirit to do something follow those feelings and stop waiting for the perfect time.
The notion on social media that promotes the "up and move" mentality is some of the stupidest shit I've ever seen. Please have some type of plan in motion or in mind before you move. Failing to plan is a plan to fail.
Save money. This move was expensive and I literally exhausted my savings and other financial avenues to make this move happen. Despite how easy people on social media make moving away seem it cost a lot of money and money doesn't grow on trees. if you don't have money saved up or good credit moving away isn't as simple as I'm up and out of here.
Before you move make sure your okay with being away from your family. I haven't lived in the same city as my parents since 2013, but being a plane ride away hit different than being able to drive 2 hours home.
Have a side hustle or plan B in mind. I knew the state of my job was iffy and my plan B was falling back on my side hustle as a bartender/server and thankfully plan C was activated when my parents stepped in and helped me out financially. Moving is easier when you have a support system.
If I could do it all again the only thing I'd changed is having more money stacked up before I left and I would've brought my flight ticket to go back home for the holidays to ensure that I didn't miss Christmas.
This is my journey to Texas and I have more blog post coming regarding the cost, how I found and signed my apartment lease, and so much more about life in Houston. Feel free to DM me with questions or any blog topic ideas regarding this major transition.
To my reader babes and my friends who may see this I hope you now understand why I was distance and not posting for a while, and thank you for sticking beside me through this part of my journey.
Everything I went through and every time I've struggled over the years was worth it because my hometown isn't it. I will always have love for my hometown because that's where I was born and raised, but I've known since high school that I couldn't reside there and be the girl that I've always dreamed of being.
I'm not sure what the future holds but Houston is home now. Whew every time I say or write this I get emotional. I really packed two suitcases and stuffed my truck with as many bins as I could and left not knowing if I'd liked the apartment I chose virtually or what was going to happen once I got here.
I'm not sure if Houston is my forever home, but I love it here. The vibes, endless brunch spots, the people, the business opportunities, etc. This move is just the beginning of a new era of me and it's a major step forward in the process of becoming that girl.
"I can't stress this enough, get out of your hometown even if it's not forever. Move. Travel. See the world. There's more to life than the same ten people and two bars."
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