A lot of the dating rules are cap & I'm sick of it
Updated: May 1, 2022
"I'm sick of you niggas, and I'm tired of you bitches" - Erica Nicole
Disclaimer: I haven’t gone on a rant in a while but this post is one of them.
So dating rules and gender debates are super trendy these days between social media opinions and podcasts, but I feel like a lot of people be capping. To be clear I like hearing other people's opinions as long as it makes sense, and as a logical millennial who enjoys talking about relationship tings I have something to say per usual. So here's a list of all the dating rules and debates that should've been left in 2021, and I pray by 2023, we'll let these dead end debates go.
Be his peace. I’m not going to be his peace if he’s constantly disturbing mine, period. At this age if he’s not my peace I’m leaving. Toxic love and relationships are tiresome, please let it go.
50/50 on the bills. Find a partner that believes in the same financial contributions as you. Some people are cool with 50/50 and some people are not. Do what's best for your relationship and finances. Personally I'm not splitting bills with my husband.
Buying something for a man doesn’t mean you’re a pick me. I saw the viral Tiktok where a female brought a small and cheap gift for her first date. I thought it was cute and a lot of people thought she was a pick me. She barely spent any money and being thoughtful matters to some people. Also ladies if he's your man/life partner what's wrong with buying him something, especially if he's always spending money on you.
Treating her nice & spoiling her doesn’t mean he's a simp. Why does treating his girl like a queen equate to him being labeled a simp. If she’s your girl or wife you should be doing whatever you can to give her the world. I'll never forget when out of state bae told me "If I fuck you with why wouldn't I want to spend money on you and buy you nice things." I wish more men had this mentality, but unfortunately Future and Kevin Samuels has fucked up their mindset. Speaking of Future can somebody's son tell me how y'all are influenced to be toxic, yet y'all don't feel led to spend the bag like he does...hmm make it make sense.
What do you bring to the table? I’m so fucking sick of this question. First off I am the table. Secondly, I’m bringing my passport and you're bringing your wallet because if you insist on having this stupid ass conversation can we at least be in Jamaica lol. Thirdly, you’ve peeped my social media or saw something in me that made you want to approach me. You see the material, so stop playing with me and asking bullshit ass questions like what do you bring to the table. On a serious note though, the answer to this question is way deeper than a regurgitated answer. It takes time to get to know somebody and see their true intentions, and from the surface level you can already see what some people are about.
Social media rules are the biggest cap of them all. If you let social media run your life you need to seek help immediately. A lot of people get on these apps and say what sounds good such as “just because he took me on a trip doesn’t mean sex was involved.” Girl stop the cap, you wanted to fuck him or you already did but it's a cool flex to say a man spent money on you without you doing something in return. Then there's men who love to promote Future but deep down they're a lover-boy who's crying and begging you not to leave them.
A high value man. First off a man that’s “high value” doesn’t have to announce his status, once again you see the material. Secondly, this statement is giving Imma alpha male, who makes more than the average income so I’m entitled to do whatever I want to do and that shit doesn't sit well with me. Thanks to Kevin Samuel and other male dominated podcasts, the term “high value” is being equated to being a good man. Just because he makes a certain income doesn’t mean his character, values, spirituality, and mental health is high value. Is he really high value or just a man with money who’s really a fucked up individual?
Money matters. Whoever started the “loving a man for who is” narrative didn’t consider inflation or having a decent lifestyle requires money. Plus, finances are one of the top reasons for divorce. Whether you want to admit it or not, money can definitely make or break your relationship. Date in your financial lane.
Men want to fuck. Every man’s initial agenda is to unlock the cookie jar. Some men are willing to do a lot and most men will try to get by by doing the bare minimum. First off, asking for pussy when you've barely done anything is out of line. Secondly, if he‘s flying you out or wining and dining you, you already know he's expecting sex sooner than later. I’m not saying he's entitled to your body but if you know you don’t like him or y’all have difference views on when sex may occur it’s best to leave that situation. Some men will assault, rape, or try kill you for playing with them. In general be careful and be smart while you're dating, some men don't take no lightly especially after they've spent money and time on you. Personally, I'm going to have sex whenever the spirits move me to and anybody son who doesn't respect that can get TF on.
Beggy bundy. I really hate that some bitches feel like knowing their worth means how much money a man will spend on you. First off, a man will spend a bag on you and still treat you like shit. Secondly, dating is an investment and honestly some bitches are bad investments. Thirdly, if you would be offended by him expecting sex on the first date then why are you asking for money or something of such large monetary value on the first date or within the first few weeks. It’s giving beggy and broke bitch energy, and I don’t like that. Even if are you struggling don't let that nigga know that. However, if that’s your man or a guy you’ve been dealing with for a while it’s cool to ask him or expect him to do certain shit for you. Personally, I don't like asking because it gives him the option to say no and my policy is, “it’s no way you telling me no and think you still my nigga.” This mentality is probably why I don't have a man.
Lavish gifts. I’m not a gift person but that's some people’s love language. My generation is very generous when it comes to gift giving from cars to houses to trips. Giving gifts is cool but don’t give somebody something knowing if y’all parted ways tomorrow you would expect or want your gifts back. Too many men are taking back their cars or other gifts which is nonsense to me. Personally, I’m not accepting any gift that isn’t paid off or the bill isn’t paid up for a year or so, and if it's a car or an apt it's going to be in my name.
Transactional love is cool. A lot of people talk down on city girls, open relationships/marriages, and sugar babies, but I feel like if both parties are benefiting from the situation then there’s nothing wrong with that type of arrangement. People wake up everyday and choose to be worried about the wrong things.
To wrap it up it’s your choice to date who you want and do whatever you want. Keep mind that being honest with yourself and whomever your dating would solve a lot of issues and dead these dumb ass debates. At the end of the day I'm going to handle a nigga how I see fit and no podcast or social media debate is controlling my relationship.
Sidenote: I listened to Future's new album and it's a vibe, a toxic vibe but a vibe none the less. He is who he is and ladies there's no point in getting mad, just don’t date men like Future, simple.
"Your relationship doesn't need to make sense to anyone, except you and your partner. It's a relationship. Not a community project."
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