God bless these 20's something- SZA
My 24th birthday just passed and I’m 4 years deep into my twenties. It’s been a wild ride and before I know it, I’ll be 25, which literally scares the shit out of me.
I know there’s life after 25 but it’s a milestone age. I don’t want to show up on August 23, 2020 and wonder what the fuck have I been doing with myself over the last seven years which is approximately how long I’m going be an adult and oversee my life.
I know Rome wasn’t built in a day meaning my entire life won’t be together by next year. However, if I’m not aware of time I’ll fuck around and be 30 and still talking about how I’m about to do this and that. On some real shit I believe that’s exactly how people get in their 40’s and have a mid life crisis, simply because they thought they had all this time to do stuff and they fuck around and realize they haven’t done half the shit they’ve been wanting/planning to do. I don’t want to be one of those people. I aspire to be a person that experience my “what ifs” so I don’t age and always wonder how my life would’ve been different if I did certain things.
The last four years has brought many of tears, worries, good times, and memories. Here’s four life lessons I’ve learned over the last four years.
1. Be selfish, fuck what people think, & live your life for you. I’m not saying stop caring for other people but make sure you don’t lose yourself trying to please and care for others. People will drain you the fuck out of you which is why putting boundaries in place and thinking of yourself first sometimes is necessary. My momma always told me “at the end of the day nobody is going to care for you the way you love and care for yourself.”
2. Learn how to move on. This is one life lesson I’m still enduring. I hate change but your 20’s is the epitome of change from switching jobs, to losing friends, to relationships ending, to feeling lost, etc. I often tell myself to accept things for what it is and move forward because shit happens, people change, and life goes on.
3. Failure is a part of life. I plan out everything down to the worst case scenario, but for the first time ever I came into 2019 without concrete plans and uncertain goals. After struggling with grad school and failing some classes I did the unthinkable...I decided to go inactivity and take a long-term break from school. I’ve cried so many tears about this, but it is what is it now. On the bright side when I go back to school in 2020, I’ll be better prepared and my life will be more stable so I can focus on school because your girl is smart as fuck, and I’m going to be a bomb ass black therapist… just wait on it!
4. Life is not a fairytale. I don’t care what dream(s) your family, society, or the media has sold you but life as an adult especially these damn 20’s is not a walk in the park. Rent is high as hell, most of these entry level jobs are annoying as fuck, and you want to live your best life but you’re on a budget or have student loans to pay off... deep sigh. Despite how rocky the early 20’s can be I heard things get better in your 30’s. Let’s pray as millennials we live to see 30.
To wrap things up my mood for chapter 24 is “playtime is over” simply because I’ve been slacking. I want to do the most such as go to school, write my books, etc. but I’m lacking the motivation to do everything I deeply desire to do which is odd for me. Well I’ve cried and whined to my momma about the current state my life is in but only I can change things. I know I’m not in a good place right now, but with the help of God and developing better self-discipline I know I can come out on top. Hopefully I’ll look back at this post and smile because everything worked out in my favor.
“My aspiration in life is to be happy” -Beyonce