Disclaimer: To anybody who's watched the Youtube trailer (go watch it lol) please note this post beforehand. I'm going to do a life update for next blog post which will bring clarity to my trailer voiceover.
"Your 20s are the time when you start to realize that happiness is not a destination, but a journey." - Unknown
Imagine there's a spotlight, "Where Have You Been?" by Rihanna starts playing, and I pop out dancing like Raven Baxter ahaha, that how it feels to being back after a two month hiatus.
First things first, I'm still consistently inconsistent but what else is new.
Secondly, hot girl summer is over..boooo tomato tomato lol.
Thirdly, a lot of people kept telling me I was glowing this summer—and no, it wasn’t because of a baby! Let's get into some things that contributed to the glow up.
I lost 20 lbs. From April to August I went back to the vegetarian lifestyle and by July I noticed the PCOS weight wasn't budging this time. I took the easy way out and got my OBGYN to prescribe me a weight loss pill. The weight came off, and now I'm 5 pounds lighter than I was at the start of the year. I feel great and I don't regret it. I'll be posting a detailed YouTube video later this month about PCOS and weight loss.
No man or kids. No shade, but men, kids, or both often add stress to black women's lives, and I'm grateful I got to enjoy another carefree, childless hot girl summer. Seriously though, this is the last era of being single (if God sees me fit to be a wife), and there's so much I've done and desire to do while it's just me.
Focus on yourself. Besides being on a summertime high, I focused on personal growth. I listen to some self-help audiobooks, started a realistic morning routine, attended biweekly therapy sessions, went on more solo dates, focused on content, & enjoyed my first of many solo trips. I highly recommend The Courage to be Disliked. That book helped me understand that my past doesn't define me and I can contribute to the community while maintaining that I'm the main character, however this ideaology is based off the courage to be disliked. I look forward to sharing an in-depth breakdown of the book, it was life changing.
I realized I am enough. I can admit that not receiving support from certain people or hearing others' unwarranted opinions or criticism made me question myself. Now it's fuck those people and their commentary. If I don’t follow the American dream, fuck it. I’m content with myself, and there's no biblical or legal rules that require me to get married, have kids, or buy a house in order to live a good life. Then I’m done going into defense mode or feeling like I gotta explain myself when people share their unwarranted opinions. I don't follow this creator, but she when she went viral for screaming, "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!," I felt that and that's my mood moving forward. Also, as of Aug. 23, 2024, fuck the bougie slander, I do think I’m all that. Yes, my parents spoiled me both then and now, but I've pulled my weight since entering adulthood. I’m deserving of everything I desire, and all I every wanted is everything. Alright let me calm down lol. But seriously, there’s always room for improvement. However, I love myself differently now, and I don’t have to prove anything to anyone but myself.
Friendship closure. When I left NC a former bff and I were not on good terms. Two years later she reached out to clear the air, and I was pleasantly surprised when she apology. For the first time ever, I didn't feel the need to stay mad or seek revenge. I tend to resent people who've hurt me, however this moment was a sign of major growth. We both agreed to move forward, and time will tell if we have the capacity to get back to bff status or remain as a cordial associates.
I implemented gratitude. Over the summer I went to NC and spent a few hours in the 336. Being there was a reminder that I'm living in one of my answered prayers. It's easy to forget how far God has brought me, but He has blessed me with a fresh start in Houston and the chance to live a beautiful life. Of course I still want more because all I ever wanted was everything and in the words of Saweetie, "Looking in mirror, I thank God for what I'm bout to be."
No goals type of summer. I didn’t mean to but I lowkey decided to say fuck them goals and dedicated the summer to personal growth, traveling, and spending time with my friends and immediate family. I'm learning part of enjoying life is living in the present, while practing gratitude means taking a break from the constant desire to do more, be more, have more, and appreciate my life as it is right now.
Social media sweep + a break from the internet. The metaverse is a wild place and as much as I used to love Tiktok that app annoys me too. I don't think it's healthy to know as much as we know about strangers or to hear random think pieces 24/7. For my mental health, I limit my time on these apps as well as delete or block problematic users. Also, people are draining and everyday it seems like somebody is aiming to start discourse over the pettiest things.
Radical Acceptance. More to come on this coping mechanism, but I can say the book I highly recommend, along with the Serenity Prayer, helped me let go and accept what I cannot change.
Ask for help. To avoid unnecessary stress and to release myself from the shackles of being too independent I decided to start asking for help. What's the worst that could happen, somebody tells me no? Yeah right. For example, there's a certification I want to obtain before the end of the year and thankfully the person I asked is going to pay for the exam. Everyone, please pray I pass the exam. While I work toward my entrepreneurial dreams, it's best to advance within the HR career path.
Positive self-talk. I loved when JT was interviewed by Angie Martinez and she said “I beat myself down, down to the ground & I’m tired of that.” That statement used to be the epitome of me. Somewhere between the self help books, therapy, and positive affirmations I started to believe I was that girl again.
Anxiety. Thank God, anxiety no longer has me in a chokehold. I still have my anxious moments, but I haven't had an anxiety attack in almost 2 years which is amazing, and a testimony in comparison to the amount of times I used to crash out during my early 20's or right after I moved to Houston. For over a year I constantly told myself that “Anxiety doesn’t have a hold on me” and that simple statement helped me cope and gain control before I start spiraling. I also recommend reading or listening to The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, which focuses on how positive thinking influences your mind.
Summer 2024 was a different type of hot girl summer and I'm sooo grateful for that because right after my birthday life started lifing again.
Stay turned for all the content that's coming. Ideally I want to post a blog and Youtube video once a week....let's see if I stay consistent this time since bartending abruptly came to an end...
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
The Serenity Prayer
I finally got the courage to start a YouTube Channel. Please subscribe, like, comment, or watch my short trailer. I'll be posting my birthday/solo trip to the Chi later this week.
My channel is Everything Erica Nicole: https://youtube.com/@everythingericanicole?si=lYX5kWODR5mKwDjm
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