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F##king for Free...Absolutely Not

Updated: Jan 30, 2022

"Sorry, If a man don't buy me shit, take me out, and show me a good time I will never like him." - Ericka J.

I never thought at 26 years old I would be writing about this, but here we are. Per usual I'm fed up with somebody's son and this time two sons thought I should fuck on them for free. The audacity of it all. Let's get into this story time and dating lesson for the girls.

When my break up happened in 2020, a guy I previously worked with starting reaching out to me. The vibes was cool, but he would text me saying he wanted to hang out, then he'd disappear for a few weeks and pop back up again. Come to find out he's still with his BM and according to him their situation was good and I didn't need to know nothing else. March 2021, I cut him off I don't have time the BM shenanigans. So he pulled some nigga shit by resurfacing right after the holidays, trying to make small talk and seeming interested in how I've been doing. During the conversation he asked if he could pull up on me so I started questioning his situation and told him once again that I don't like drama. He tells me that he's with his BM and that doesn't have nothing to do with me.

At this point I'm thinking he wants me to be his side piece which is why he called me out of the blue trying to be nice and shit. I asked him if I was okay with his situation what else would I be getting besides sex on his terms, and mind you he's not consistent. I questioned if gifts, trips, dates, or some type of monetary compensation for my time would be involved. He tells me if I don't want drama then it's not a good idea to be going out on dates and he totally ignored the rest of the shit I asked him about. Now I'm not for or against side chicks/mistresses because everybody lives their life how they see fit and what's done in the dark aways comes to light (another blog for another time).

I text my guy best friend about this shit, because I'm really shocked that he was bold enough to call me after not speaking to me since March and ask me for my pussy with no benefits or responsibilities on his end. Yeah this nigga had lost his mind and to make it worst he asked if I still listen to my ratchet music (City Girls, Meg, etc.). If I listened to women that preach about getting your things from a nigga why the fuck would he ever think I would agreed to this arrangement without asking for some shit. Needless to say I informed him that I wasn't interested in being his side piece and I blocked him. Mind you this nigga is 36, and he's been in the game long enough to know better.

Now this is when the story gets toxic. I checked on my ex because some people in my life asked about him. I was hesitate then I remembered how hard the holidays are for him due to family issues, and although we didn't work out I still cared for him. Deep sigh.. texting him led to him asking me if we could work things out and his first suggestion for working it out was having sex. I kindly checked his ass and told him sex isn't going to solve the issues we had and some things have changed such as I'm planning to move out of state later this year. He has the fucking audacity to call me and tell me I'm not going no fucking where and how can I be a wife if I'm trying to move to a city where it's partying and bullshit going on. I went off on his ass and we didn't talk for a few days which led to me going off again. His lack of communication and failure to make an effort outside of going off on me showed me that nothing has changed. He ended up telling me that he had COVID so I played nice for a few days.

Tell me why once he started to feel better he insinuated that we should have sex again. He didn't mention a date night, the trip we were planning before COVID, or anything that would've impressed me and made me reconsider allowing him back into my life. Up until that point I've censored what I've said to him because he's terrible at communication and I wasn't trying to hurt him just because he hurt me...but y'all I lost it and I spent the next few days reading his ass.

After talking about him in therapy I realized I'm saying the shit I was saying in 2020, expect he's making twice as much money now. Over the last year and a half I still had love for him but now I'm disgusted. He's known me for almost three years and he fucked up our relationship, yet he feels entitled to ask me for some coochie without doing anything that I asked for, and mind y'all I cried about his ass for months. I decided at the beginning of this year I wasn't putting up with certain shit anymore so I blocked his ass. I use to think if he went to therapy and got his dream job that shit between us could be great again but I was disappointed again. He's 31, and I don't want to say therapy isn't working but he definitely has some maturing to do and I don't have anymore time or tears to waste on his bitch ass (I should've called him that before I blocked him ahaha but I'm letting go of my toxic ways).

I don't understand the thought process behind asking for sex and feeling like a female isn't entitled to ask for some shit too because the situation is giving very much so transactional which is cool sometimes. However, it's annoying as fuck when niggas are begging or constantly asking for pussy..that's not going to make me fuck you sir. My advice to all females is to pop your pussy when the spirit moves you to.

Now during your college days or early 20's I get that everybody was living life and being on bullshit so fucking somebody without all the bells and whistles was cool. However, in your late 20's or whenever you realize fucking on some niggas didn't amount to anything, you'll see why it's not smart to keep dealing with men that doesn't bring value or any benefits to your life. I'm not saying be on some city girl shit, but I do believe as you grow and learn more about life that it's stupid to fuck with a nigga that hasn't done a damn thing for you and he doesn't plan on doing shit for you either. No matter how you choose to deal with somebody's son, make sure you're getting what you want out of the situation or relationship, and don't be scared to be vocal about what you expect either. Men will always have the audacity to ask for some pussy and they get over on females who don't require them to do shit else. Don't be that girl and always remember what you allow will continue.

"Your somebody's dream girl, don't trip"

The item for this week is a vision board planner. I'm manifesting and planning for the life I want. Law of attraction is real and I'm going to attract a quality son this year. Check out the planner or get the manifest journal. We're all going to win and work towards having the lifestyle that we deserve. h

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