Disclaimer: I’m speaking from the average American income which can range from $44k-$68k. Fly outs are different from baecations and we’ll talk about that at a later time. Lastly, don’t debate me, debate your mother.
“That my man but that ain’t my man though so watch your hands hoe” - Meg The Stallion
Thanks to Caresha (I love her btw) the term flewed out has been a popular term and movement since late 2019. Everybody's definition of getting flewed out is different. Some people feel like a fly out means the woman isn’t paying for anything: the flight, hotel, fun, etc. Then some people feel like it’s only considered a fly out if you don’t know that guy (dangerous in my opinion).
Urban dictionary defines flewed out as to be flown out of the city, state, or country by a guy/girl who wants to see you badly and who’s about to spend a bag (money) then send you home. My definition is any time a man is financially going half (realistic standpoint) or paying for the entire trip is a fly out type of situation. Whatever your definition is keep in mind niggas are stinky and every bitch can’t get a nigga to spend money on her.
Here’s a few factors to consider and some advice that goes into a fly out.
Do you know this man? Whether or not you know him depends on how the rest of the situation may play out. If you don’t know him but he wants to see you I don’t think you should pay for anything. He’s requesting to see you, not the other way around. On the flip side if you know him and he’s a not a 6 figure nigga or a drug dealer (they have the funds sis), but you like him or y’all been talking for a while (my generation is notorious for internet loving) I understand financially contributing to the fly out if it's going to include the hotel too. However, if you're staying with him he should be able to afford a flight. Regardless, who’s paying for what needs to be discussed and confirmed before any flights, hotels, etc. is booked.
Fly outs are costly. The average flight in the US is $300-$400, a quality hotel if you don’t feel comfortable staying with him $400+, and not to mention the cost for food, activities, etc. Truthfully a quality fly out can range between $600-$1,200 depending on if you're going to stay with him or not, and what type of activities y’all are going to get into. This trip will cost even more if he flies you out of the country. Rule #2 is why rule #1 is so important.
Be clear on your intentions. Ask yourself what’s the purpose of this trip. Personally I don’t recommend flying to see somebody that you're not interested in or haven’t spent enough time getting to know him. However, a lot of females will agree to a trip because it’s free. Keep in mind playing games with some people’s sons is exactly how some bitches end up getting raped, assaulted, or killed. It’s fine if you don’t know how you feel about him because at the end of the day just because he sponsored a trip doesn’t mean you have to have sex with him. However, it’s not okay to knowly entertain him knowing you don’t like him just to get free shit or go on a free trip. Go to work and stop being a bum bitch.
Sex is a must. Personally if the goal isn’t to have sex I don’t understand spending time, his money, and your energy on a trip. If you're 25 and older you know rather quickly if your down to fuck based on the vibes and conversation. On the flip side sometimes you do be ready to fuck somebody’s son, but some men talk themselves out of the pussy (sad story lol). This rule is for the girlies that's already sexually active or believe in sex before marriage.
Set boundaries and standards. In addition to being intentional if your open to having sex y’all need to discuss what prevention measures will be used and if your not interested in having sex that needs to be mentioned as well. This is a huge reason why a lot of females request a hotel. Your more inclined to feel sexually pressured if your staying in his home or sharing the same bed. & Yes men will say they’re not pressed for pussy and be pressed like a panini. Also back to rule #1 & #3 don’t agree to pay for something if you don’t want to. Furthermore, if you have a standard for hotels and flights, make that known. Don’t agree to stay at Motel 6 if you're a Marriott/Four Season type of girl. If you like business class, he needs to book your flight for business class. Personally flying Spirit or Frontier, staying at motel, or any hotel that has inn in it outside of Hilton Inn is a hell no for me.
Be honest about what you want to do during the trip. If you want to go shopping, say that. If you want to go to a 5 star restaurant, say that. What’s the point in seeing somebody who doesn’t want to do the same shit as you or they expect you to be cool with chilling at the crib because he’s not financially prepared to wine and dine you. During my first trip we went to a nice ass restaurant and the strip club which is exactly what I requested. Ladies, I can't stress this enough to be direct and honest about what you want to do. Yes a man should put forth the effort to make plans but if you just started dealing with him consider the fact that he doesn’t know much about you yet. This rule can determine if the trip will be worth your time.
Don’t fly to see somebody if you don’t have your own money. Worst case scenario if he starts acting funny you’ll have your own funds to count on until you get back home or you can get yourself a hotel. Personally I wouldn’t fly to see somebody who I already felt like would leave me stranded or do some shady shit such as thinking we’re going half on a date. This rule is more or less for bitches that are dealing with a man that they don’t know, hence why you should spend some time getting to know him before you start packing your bags.
Share your location. Whether you know him or not, please tell somebody you trust where you're going, and definitely share your location during the entire trip if you're going to see somebody you don’t know for the first time. Although I’ve known him for most of my 20’s I still checked in with my momma and one of my best friends during my first trip.
Book your own shit and bring a friend. If you want to see him but you want to be on your own type of time do, some boss bitch shit and book everything. If the vibes are still good you'll link with him and enjoy the city, but if you get there and you're not feeling it at least you have your homegirl there to have fun with. This suggestion is for bitches that want to leave their options open. Also some niggas are okay with paying for your friend to come along too (boss nigga shit lol).
Be on your pretty bitch shit. Do all your maintenance before the trip. Get waxed. Get your nails, toes, and hair done. Have your lashes on and pack some fire ass outfits. Show him that you're a baddie.
At the end of the day, do what makes you feel comfortable whether it’s going half, him paying for the whole trip, you want to fuck on the first night, etc. Don’t let my advice or any of these made up social media rules influence how you're going to handle a fly out situation.
The fly out culture is cool especially if you’ve never experienced it, but everything that glitters ain’t gold which is why I’ll always advocate for doing what works for you and your situation. Notice how I didn’t spill any real tea on how we’ve made our situation work for us. Because what works for us may not be ideal for other people's situation. My nigga's income may not be your potential nigga's income. Plus having a certain level of privacy will benefit the relationship/situation in the long run.
On the bright side, I just got home 2 days ago from a 6 day visit with him. This trip was nothing short of amazing and I loved how hardly nobody knew where I was at.
Stay tuned… hot girl summer is just starting.
“I don't sell pussy but this ain't cheap”
- Big Latto
Sidenote: I've mentioned a medical issue that I've been experiencing and as of yesterday I was diagnosed with a skin condition but I'm okay. I'm healing and I'm grateful that I don't have to undergo any more medical procedures right now.
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