Updated: Jan 24
“Fuck bein' good, I'm a bad bitch. I'm sick of motherfuckers tryna tell me how to live.” - Meg Thee Stallion
According to the urban dictionary, a hot girl can be defined as an extremely attractive woman and men are willing to go to ridiculous lengths to gain their love and attention. Now there’s a very thin line between the hot girl movement versus being a city girl. Somewhere along the way the true definition of being a hot girl has been misconstrued for being a hoe which is far from the truth. Summer 2019 Meg put out a tweet stating, “Being a Hot Girl is about being unapologetically YOU, having fun, being confident, living YOUR truth, being the life of the party etc.” I absolutely agree with her definition and summer 2020 I started living the hot girl life and it’s been lit ever since.
I had a lot of fun while I was in college and during my early 20’s. By 23, I had experience having a long term relationship, getting blackout drunk, traveling internationally, falling out with friends, having my first real job, etc. I was also an introvert, but I still loved to go out with my homegirls and do fun shit until I got in my last relationship.
If you’ve been reading my blog then you know that I met my ex when I was 23 and during the first 3 months I was still going out, then I started hustling to get out of credit card debt and having fun came to a halt. I didn’t realize until I’m in the Dominican Republic for my 25th birthday that I haven’t had fun since I was 23. Every year I have a list of goals to meet by my next birthday but at 25, the only goal I had was to be a hot girl.
Let me be clear, being a hot girl isn’t all about getting turnt and having fun. Like Meg said it’s all about doing whatever makes you unapologetically you. Be unapologetically me including writing more, traveling more, going to the hookah lounge, going to brunch, and basically getting back to who I was before I got in that relationship and started working 2 jobs. Although working a lot was a factor in why I wasn’t living my best life, the person I was dating wasn’t a fan of going out and me doing certain shit. To be honest he didn’t want me to go to DR for my birthday and allegedly he felt this way because of COVID numbers. In my opinion some men don't want you to be outside because you'll run into a better nigga and your current nigga knows that. You’re supposed to grow and elevate in life, but don’t let no relationship or anything stop you from being who you truly are.
To me society and a lot of men like to shame women who don’t believe in sitting in the house. I remember right before summer 2020, I told this guy I was going to be outside and be a hot girl. He got mad and told me I shouldn’t say stuff like that and being a hot girl has a bad connotation. I quickly let him know that being a hot girl doesn’t involve fucking a lot of niggas and I was going to do whatever I felt like doing that summer. Society has really brainwashed some women and men into this “good girl” narrative and let me tell you being a good girl is dead. Not going out, cooking all the time, and doing other domestic shit doesn’t mean you’ll be a wife or more superior than the next woman. Strippers, hoes, and boss ass/lit females are getting wifed up every day. There’s nothing wrong with being in the house and taking pride in cooking and cleaning but do those things because you want to do it, not because society and these stupid ass son’s put you in that box. Go against the grind and do whatever you want to do.
If you want to dating a bunch of niggas, do it.
If you want to go out every weekend, do it.
If you want to travel solo, do it.
Do whatever makes you happy. Be safe, and fuck these made up rules.
I love that Meg and other phenomenal black women are encouraging millennials and the next generation to live your life, be outside, and don’t let nobody tell you how to live. Most of our grandmas and aunties were stay at home wives or they worked and didn’t do shit else. Now females, especially black women are chasing the bag, traveling solo, having kids in their late 30’s, having non-traditional careers, and doing shit that doesn’t revolve around being a wife and a mother.
I still believe myself and other great women will be a wife one day if that is what we desire to be. I’ll probably be 40 still wanting bottomless mimosas and being on the hookah. I’m going to 35 on an island twerking on a boat with my girls. I’m going to be 30 still doing my blog and writing urban fiction books and any man that has an issue with that is not the nigga for me. In the words of Meg my ideal relationship is "Hot girl summer..but my man coming to pick me up after." Honestly, outside of dating I don’t want any friends or other people around me that have an issue with how I’m living my life, unless I’m doing destructive shit.
Since summer 2020 and turning 25, the hot girl life has treated me well. I’ve traveled internationally twice, went on 4 other vacations, and I’m getting ready to go on another trip in 10 days. I’ve made a career change, switched grad programs, and decided to take my love and gift for writing seriously. I’m still enjoying my out of state bae and not being stressed over a nigga. And last but not least, smoking hookah has been the highlight of my life ahaha.
If being a hot girl is in you, embrace that shit, and go be great. In the words of Laurel Thatcher, "Well behaved women seldomly make history."
Check out my Pretty Bitch Music playlist. This is the perfect playlist for getting cute or whenever you need to be reminded that you're still that girl.
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