Disclaimer: I’m normally on these niggas asses but ladies it’s 2022 and we have to do better. I recently watched The Tinder Swindler and I can't believe bitches were that dumb.
“Niggas ain't shit, come up in your crib. All up in your fridge, can't pay rent” - Doja Cat
I’m all for having your fun with an ain’t shit ass nigga because at the end of day they ain’t shit. However, bitches never stop at the fun part which is how they end up on the bathroom floor crying.
They get houses, whole ass mortgages with these men. They get apartment leases with these men. They get married to these men. They put their credit and bank account at risk for these men, and worst of all they get pregnant by these men. Then what ticks my nerve is some of these men don’t even be fun or have anything going for themselves yet a bitch will stick beside him. It makes no sense.
There’s different types of ain’t shit niggas too.
The bum. No job. No money. No goals. Just a walking liability. A lot of these men are always talking about females using men for their money, but the gag most of them doing the talking don’t have any money.
The liar and manipulator. He’s going to lie and manipulate women to get what he wants (prime example of The Tinder Swindler). In my opinion giving a certain amount of money to a man or putting my credit on the line for somebody who’s not my husband sounds crazy to me.
The non-committer. They want to have fun and enjoy the benefits of a relationship without the commitment (The epitome of Future). I’m not going to lie this type of nigga is the best one to get entangled with and they know how to take fun to a whole new level.
Any man who's downplaying their baby momma or exes. First off if he doesn't respect the mother of his child I highly doubt he'll respect yet. Secondly, some men downplay their situation with their baby momma because they're still fucking her (run sis!). Lastly, any man that willingly talking shit about his exes without you asking questions about his past is a red flag. Every bitch he's encountered isn't crazy.
Now some women swear they didn’t know certain things about a man which may be true because like I said men are liars, however every man isn’t lying sis. Some men are very open and honest about who they are and a lot of times there are so many red flags yet bitches convince themselves that that’s not the reality of the situation. For example, out of state bae has a history of being an ain’t shit nigga (mind you I’ve known him prior to this situation) and he was very honest with me when he let me know how he felt. It was my choice to entertain the situation or walk away and I chose the first option. If he fucks up or disrespects me I can’t lie I’m going to be hurt (were friends before anything else), but at the end of the day I knew what type of man I was willingly dealing with. Ladies open your eyes and see shit for what it is, not for what you want it to be.
Then on the flip side some men shouldn’t be labeled as ain’t shit, he just wasn’t the man for you. Sometimes relationships or situations don't work out and it's okay that circumstances outside of "being an ain't shit nigga" caused y'all to part ways. When you see the signs that the situation/relationship isn't going how you want it to go, it's time to move on from that sis.
I don’t want y’all to think it’s always been easy for me to leave a man or situation, because it was hard to cut my last ex off. I cried about the situation for months, however when you love yourself you won’t tolerate certain shit anymore. He wasn’t an ain’t shit nigga but he was no longer the man for me and there wasn’t a point in sticking around hoping the circumstances would change. I'm about to enter into my late 20's, playing with somebody son is played out.
I’m still all about women empowerment and females, especially black females being loved and treated correctly. However, requiring a certain level of treatment and expectations requires you to value and treat yourself a certain way as well. When you carry yourself a certain way you're more liable to attract better quality men and always remember what you allow will continue.
Some women keep experiencing the bare minimum because they give themselves the bare minimum and they don’t require him to do anything beyond that either.
Some women keep experiencing cheating because they choose to stick beside him by any means necessary.
Some women keep getting disrespectful because they don’t respect yourself.
Some women stay in abusive situations because they don’t believe that they deserve better.
Some women keep having babies and baby daddy problems because they want other women to know that they’ll be tied to that man for life (absolute ridiculous and by far the dumbest things bitches do).
At some point you have to stop saying “niggas ain’t shit” and start asking yourself why are you continuing to be involved with somebody who treats you like you ain’t shit or better yet how do you keep getting in situations with the same type of ain’t shit men. I personally know 2 women who were explaining their situation to me and everything I’m hearing from giving him money to he doesn’t know if he wants to be with her after she just had his baby is giving it time to move on from that sis. I’m rarely in support of giving a man more time when he doesn't value the time you’ve already given him. Mind you neither female is in an actual relationship with these men. Both of these situations are prime examples of a man showing you what it is and you’re still choosing to be a willing participant in the shenanigans.
I decided to speak on this because too many women are caught up on an ain’t shit ass niggas or holding on to a man who isn’t the man for them. You can’t make him want to be better sis, he has to want that for himself. Also if he doesn’t love himself how can he love you? If he doesn’t have anything to his name what could he possible offer you beside sex? Don’t ever beg for love, a commitment, etc. because if he wanted to he would have. I get wanting to be loved because I want to be loved too, but how much are you willing to sacrifice and give behind wanting love from somebody’s son? Last week I talked about the ex-love of my life resurfacing which is cool, but I’m not going to push a commitment or stop living my life. If he wants me he’ll act accordingly.
At the end of the day learn the game & play it well or don’t play at all. If your a lover girl or get easily attached don’t get involved with an ain’t shit ass nigga. He’s going to hurt your feelings every time. Smart women that chose to deal with these type of niggas understand that the goal is to have fun, enjoy the vibes, and leave the situation without a baby or unnecessary baggage. Lori Harvey is the perfect example of a female who understood who Future was and left the situation without having strings attached to him.
To wrap it up some niggas ain’t shit, but at some point we as women have to hold ourselves accountability for allowing them to treat us like we ain’t shit either. Everything I said was from a place of love, and like always say I just want better for us as women.
“Stop falling in love with the fun niggas and tryna take them out the streets. Y’all be tryna build relationships with niggas you was supposed to slut out. Now you in ya group chat stressed out. Girl just enjoy the vibe, enjoy the dick, and don't get attached.”
- Kira J.
This weeks promo is a tripod. I'm currently on vacation and I'm loving the reels, pictures, and Tiktoks I've been taking by myself thanks to my tripod. It's been a great investment.