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Putting my dreams on hold

Updated: Apr 9, 2020

If you know me or been following my blog then you know from 22 to now as an adult has been far from easy. If you personally know me then you know all I want to do is write dope love stories, become a therapist, and travel the world.

When I look at my life now & how I ended up here sometimes I get sad because I don’t have the time to write, I took a break from grad school, & as long as it’s payment plan I’m still able to travel lol. But I keep telling myself that everything I'm doing now will pay off in the end.

From late 2017 to Sept. 2019 I was running myself in the ground trying to write, go to school online, work a full time job, & pay my bills. I'm ambitious but I realized I needed to put some of my dreams on hold and get certain areas of my life together so I can focus on what's really important to me.

So I decided to get out of credit card debt which would reduce how many bills I pay which in turn would give me more money to finance my dreams. I've paid off one credit card & I’m on track to pay off another one by the end of this month. Then I decided to give up school temporarily and not drop a book in 2019 which was scary but so far I don’t regret my decision.

Right now I’m working my ass off to get out of debt and in a way it feels good to not be doing the most, but I can’t lie to y’all I miss school and writing, which is why I mentioned earlier that sometimes I get sad.

My deadline is August 2020 because I’m turning 25 and certain shit will not be carried into this next chapter of my life. A lot of shit has to get done over the next few months and when I get tunnel vision I block out everybody and everything and go into grind mode, which is why I’ve been MIA on social media and avoiding people. I know several of y’all are concerned about me, but I’m good and even when I want to break down crying some days I’m still going to be good.

To my friends: I know I’ve missed your calls or declined to hang out but I love y’all for real and 90% of the time I’m not in the best mood, I’m tired, and the select days I’m off from work I just want to chill.

To the readers: Shout to everybody who’s read or currently reading my first book. I’m pleasantly surprised since I’ve been MIA that all of my social media publishing pages has received new views and likes. Thanks for bearing with me as I’m getting my life together and I’m planning to drop part 2 in April. I’m also going to be in Virginia on March 14th for the Virginia Urban Lit expo, come see me.

To my babe: I know my attitude has been ruthless but thanks for riding with me and continuing to encourage me to do great things. I pray all the time that you’re going to be around for a while...maybe even forever.

To my parents: Y’all are my rock and I can always count on y’all to remind me why giving up is not an option. I know I don’t come home that often anymore, but I love y’all.

To everybody else:: If you haven’t heard from me then you probably still won’t hear from me any time soon. I’m avoiding people and their commentary as much as possible right now. I’m not in the mood to explain what I’m up to and when I get everything squared away I’ll gladly explain why I needed my time and how I made it through this journey.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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