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Social media is overwhelming

Disclaimer: If I could delete all my socials today I would, but when it comes to business and building a brand utilizing social media is part of the game.

"Now you done pissing me off, know what you're talking about before you start talking." - Monique

I'm over it.

I'm over celebrities oversharing and trying to be relatable. People in different tax brackets face different problems and I refuse to believe a group of people who are millionaires and have access to certain resources have the same struggles as middle class or poor people. Kim K. & Gabrielle Union really tried it in their recent interviews. I miss the days were we knew of celebrities instead of knowing too much about them. Every human has feelings but a millionaire problems will never compare to the average American issues.

I'm over the fake Shera hate train. This lady doesn't have Tiktok yet she's trending and on her Youtube channel she clearly states in almost every video that she's a financial advisor and she doesn't believe in playing fair in an unfair world. Therefore being surprised about how she ended up marrying her husband shows that some people have selective hearing and comprehension skills.

I'm over women slandering other women for how they deal or dealt with men. There's a difference in speaking from a place of love and guidance vs. verbally attacking and berating another female for her life choices. For example, Danai Jackson is being transparent and holding herself accountable yet some women are making comments and post saying that that could never be them or shaming her for being honest. This women doesn't need to be berated or judged, she's been through enough. Support her healing journey or be quiet. Same things goes for Blac Chyna, Alexi Skyy, and any woman who made certain choices then decided she wanted better for herself.

I'm over other women acting like they have the crabby patty formula to getting a man. My guy bff told me years ago that women listening to other women's advice regarding a gender that they know nothing about doesn't make sense and he's right. Not saying that all women are speaking from a bad place but I don't believe that being a certain way guarantees you anything especially when it comes to men. Good girls don't always get a happy ending, and city girls don't always end up finessing a rich nigga. I do believe that women should live their lives to the fullest and once they've gained enough life experience and worked on themselves it'll be easier to attract the type of man that they want. There's no secret method or one way to bag a man. If the answer was that simple all the relationship podcast and gurus would've stopped producing content years ago, and for the record, yes I speak on relationships and dating but I speak from the lessons that I've learned and my own failures. I don't tell y'all how to get or keep a man and if I knew the secret recipe I'd probably be married to the man of my dreams by now. Any woman can have a man by tomorrow but the reality is divorce is real and a lot of women including myself are single because finding and keeping the type of man you want isn't as easy as social media makes it out to be.

I'm really over Shera being compared to Kevin Samuels. Regardless of how you feel about her she's entertaining and although Kevin Samuels had some valid points during his time, his delivery and influence was harmful to the black community.

I'm over people being the moral police. Everybody has done something that could be labeled morally wrong and there's a difference between something being morally wrong vs. actually being legally wrong. Unless something is against the law or your religion it's arguable that morals are subjective and not factual.

I'm over the non-conducive commentary and debates, and just the overall negative impact that the online world is having on real life.

Social media has been overwhelming for me for a while now and this week it really became too much to the point that I contemplated deleting my blog. I have a category for unpopular opinions and I'm known for the somebody's son series and as I evaluate myself, my brand, and all of the social media b.s I started to question if some of my content has been misconstrued and contributed to the bullshit.

Let's be very clear about a few things because I never want to be associated with negativity or known as somebody who's judgemental.

I'm using affiliated marketing to monetize my blog but I don't aspire to be an influencer, Youtuber, nor nobody's role model when it comes to living a certain lifestyle. There's an unsaid pressure with being a role model/influencer and I don't want that expectation put on me. It's cool to inspire people but I don't like the thought of playing apart in other people's decisions.

I'm not perfect. A lot of people's commentary about me in real life gets to me and I'm already hard on myself. Between my momma and my therapist they're constantly reminding me to give myself some grace.

I've taken some losses behind making certain decisions. Once again I'm not perfect, nobody is.

I have feelings. Sometimes I come off as a cold hearted bitch who's nonchalant, dismissive, and my answer to everything is to leave or cut people off, but I have feelings y'all.

I don't agree with a lot of things that people do, but I do my best to speak on certain topics respectfully, and I understand that my opinion doesn't and should not hold no value in other people's lives.

Lastly, I will always advocate for everybody especially black women to do whatever they want to do because all the rules are fake and a lot of people who have something to say are hypocrites, projecting, or need to spend more time minding their own business.

With social media going nuts 24/7 especially this week with Danai interview and the sprinkle sprinkle madness I want to remind all my reader babes that you need to make decisions based off your circumstances and end goal. Please understand the consequences behind certain decisions, move accordingly, and don't let nobody to sit on their high horse and judge you. Despite how hard these people go online nobody but God has a heaven or hell to send you too.

Before I go let's talk about influence culture real quick.

Everybody is influenced by something, and before social media it was magazines, TV shows, etc. However I feel like social media is an uncontrolled platform where influence and advice tends to get out of hand. We're living in a time where anybody can log onto these sites and run rampant and that within itself is dangerous.

Here's some takeaways I've learned and have to keep in mind when it comes to social media

  • Take a break. If your brand or business can survive without social media or you can afford a social media manager please do that. A major goal in 2024 is being able to afford a social media mgr. I already foresee that my mental can't within the social media shenanigans for much longer.

  • Everybody's advice is bad advice. Nobody is always right and you need to rely on your own discernment and experiences to decipher what is for you and what isn't. If it don't apply let it fly.

  • Just because you don't like the messager doesn't mean the message isn't true. Derrick Jaxn is a hypocritical clown, Shera isn't for everybody, and Kevin's delivery was uncensored but there was and still is truth in some of things that they said.

  • Results may vary. A lot of advice should led or end with this statement. Solely following somebody else's blueprint is dangerous. You don't know what they did to get to where they are and some people be capping for the internet.

  • You don't have to agree with something in order for it to be true or facts. For example, pretty privilege is a thing and men with money can get away with more bullshit. I don't like this statement but from a societal standpoint this statement is true nonetheless.

  • Social media is scheme set up by Todd (ahaha, real RHOA fans know what I mean). But seriously y'all people are entitled to tell you what they want you to know, no more or no less. Therefore take what you see online with a grain of salt.

  • Social media can makes people feel like they know somebody but you don't know them. You know what they've shown you which isn't always the truth.

  • Everybody's life experiences has contributed to who they are and played a role in their life choices. For example, some girls deal with men a certain way because of their trauma and if you don't have a negative outlook on men it's not going to be in you to be a savage within the dating scene. Stay a lover girl and understand that those girls were built different. Another example is somebody raised off of love sees the world differently and tend to make different choices than somebody who was raised off of survival. Survival mode has a heavy impact on people's outlook on life.

  • Be weary of people who say certain things then they follow up with a product that they're promoting or trying to sell. A lot of advice and commentary is a marketing method. People will tell you whatever to promote their product. I watched a video of a lady talking about feminine energy and by the end of the video she was promoting her $800 femininity course. The video went from being about wanting better for women to using this subject as a marketing tactic for gullible women. Stay woke to the gimmicks and marketing tricks.

To conclude, I'm not going to give up my first love. Shoutout to him, my momma, and a close friend for encouraging me to keep going. I had a moment, but writing is my baby and I'm forever grateful to my past, current, and future reader babes who have and still decide to support me as I grow and elevate as a women and millennial black blogger.

I love y'all for real.

"Y'all be getting real nasty to each other over opinions and differences in lifestyles, that shit crazy. People get so attached to their way of thinking that they start to believe it's the only way to be and everybody else is wrong."

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