Nov 226 min read

Very mindful, but not demure

Disclaimer: I'm over being demure, let be for real.

"What happens when the talk isn't cheap and it is what it is." ---- Tokyo Toni

I'm contemplating how real I want to get on this platform because I have so many unpopular opinions that I chose not to say. People are easily offended, sensitive, or take every single thing personally. I'm fucking sick of it....I feel a social detox happening soon.

Anywho, let's get into my random thoughts for the week.

I feel sad and jealous of my friends with supportive families. I've accepted my family as they are, but I still feel lonely. I hope making new friends or finding a partner will ease this feeling.
The problem with this trophy wife situation is she wasn't a trophy mom (YouTube/TikTok tea). Who the fuck marries somebody after meeting them online and knowing them for a week? The husband was wrong and needs to be in jail, but as a mother, she ain't shit either.
As somebody who's engages in the Sprinkle Sprinkle content I think it needs to be said that nobody should take her advice or half the relationship advice that's pushed online seriously. She's great for some advice, but better for entertainment purposes only.
Trickin' and gold digging aren't new concepts; they've just recently gained attention in the black community. Other cultures have long prioritized financial stability, but it seems to have become controversial when black women began valuing financial security and comfort over enduring struggle love.
The everyday girl standards for dating and meaning behind wanting a provider vs. the IG baddie standards are vastly different. I think people confuse the too. If both parties know how to manage money and not live beyond their means an everyday man that's not a millionaire can still be a provider.
In honor of the holiday season, Holiday Freak Shit by Mila J should be on everybody's sex playlist.
Dating and marriage involve risks similar to investments; some relationships succeed, while others don't. Many people lack discernment and make poor choices. It's crucial not to invest more in a partner than you're willing to lose, as resentment often arises from unmet expectations after investing time and energy into someone.
As you get older, the statement "All money ain't good money" hits different.
Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom of consequences and more people need to understand that. Some examples of this is Waka Flocka, B. Simone, Da Baby, etc. They made some intriguing public statements and didn't regret it until the backlash began, leading to a financial loss.
Some days I feel great, lonely, or lost and misunderstood. Acknowledging my emotions is challenging, but I've reached a point where I no longer pretend. If I'm not okay, I'll be honest when asked.
Although I'm a lover girl who has recently figured out what I want for my future, shifting my mindset from dismissing dating will take time. I aim to be mentally ready to date by spring and not giving up when somebody's son gives me the ick.
A TikTok user said, "Something that's not easy is not for me," which resonates with me. While challenges occur, what's meant for me should feel natural, like curating content, writing, and being myself on camera.
I wish social media users hadn't learned the term "narcissist." Only licensed mental health professionals can diagnose this disorder, not online users who judge based on videos. This includes "Spiritual Whistle Blowers" and her delusion followers.
When the girls say they want a sugar daddy they're talking about the guys like the one in Inayah "Sugar Daddy" video not men who look like Irv Gotti.
Sheree Whitfield, Rasheeda, etc. are great examples of why I believe being a bad bitch is a mentality (aka high functioning) not an aesthetic. They’re beautiful, talented, and have access to high caliber men yet somebody’s dusty son is always attached to their name and decreasing their value.
There’s a difference between respectability politics and advocating for decorum, I wish more people were able to compartmentalize this. For example, what you’d wear if you went to Kamp is likely not appropriate for dinner at STK.
I stopped being a Drake fan a few years ago & everything Kendrick said was the truth but I wish he, Future, & Metro could make amends & drop What A Time To Be Alive 2.
I don’t understand why Cardi or Caresha get mad when somebody talks about their rapping skills and career. Both of them have doubled down on saying they never wanted to be a rapper for real, but it was a way to make money.
A YouTuber (Realtalk w/ Yanie) mentioned that Shera’s advice works best on men who aren’t true to the game or feel like a woman is out of his league. After further consideration… she’s right, it’s not as feasible to finesse a finesser.
The dating scene was better when women were singing about being a good woman and men were outside dancing in the rain vs. utilizing podcasts to bash women and social platforms to promote femininity coaches and gender wars.
I wish more people saw the value in being stable financially, mentally, etc. before having kids. Too many kids within the black community suffer because parents liked the idea of having a baby without considering what's to come with parenthood.
People whose brand or way of creating content is by criticizing other creators are weird.
The girls would be shocked if they saw how I act when I have a man. I talk shit about men, but I’m different when it comes to my man, niggas love it here for a reason.
Where’s the R&B girls that make heartbreak music (no I’m not heartbroken)? Growing up we had Keyshia Cole, Fantasia, Monica, Jazmine Sullivan, and even Beyoncé when Jay-Z was in his cheating era lol. Now all the girls promote cheating or being a toxic lover, however I still love SZA, Summer, & Jhene music though.
When it comes to Onika Tanya Maraj, in the words of Ari, “Not too much on my girl.” Only the barbs understand Nicki’s antics and yes she’s one of the pettiest people on the internet. I mean her martial last name is literally Petty.
Me, myself, & I by Beyoncé is a classic heartbreak anthem but does anybody prefer Not Anymore or Back To Life by Letoya Luckett? Letoya can sing her ass off.. Her Back To Life album came out right after her first divorce, and baby she was singing like rent was due.
We all could’ve been tech geniuses if we would’ve kept coding on MySpace, damn we fumbled the bag.
Letoya Luckett & Toya Rushing are the epitome of “I want my name dropped meaning I want a ring” and “If that nigga don’t work get another one”. Because one thing for sure they’re meant to be a wife and they don’t let their past deter them from their goal. They take being a lover girl to another level. I need to take some notes from them and get back on the dating scene.
It’s okay to show love & grace but don’t keep letting somebody play in your face.
Certain meals taste better as leftovers.
Charlagma was right when he said “nobody cares about the truth when the lie is more entertaining”.
It’s something about the girl who was his preference or the girl who thinks she’s different from his previous rooster that makes her vulnerable to being mistreated by him in the worst way.
Shows or movies like Waiting to exhale, Insecure, Girlfriends, The Game, etc. hits differently as an adult. Issa said a word during one of her mirror talks, “I just wanna fast forward to the part of my life where everything is okay.”
I love the girls but being aesthetically pleasing wouldn’t save or keep them from experiencing the wrath of a no good man.
A broad opinion isn’t a personal attack, remember that.
Some days I really miss my grandaddies. They let me be and loved me for me. I often wonder how life would've been different if they were still here.

Being mindful doesn’t mean shrinking into silence or softening who you are to fit the expectations of others. It’s about cultivating awareness, embracing presence, and honoring your truth unapologetically. 'Very mindful but not demure' is a reminder that you can live intentionally and still stand boldly in your authenticity. You can be grounded yet outspoken, peaceful yet powerful, and self-aware without losing your fire. Mindfulness isn’t about muting yourself; it’s about aligning your actions with your highest values while remaining vibrant, passionate, and fully alive.

Happy Friday.

"When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it."

– Eckhart Tolle

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