Updated: Aug 19
Disclaimer: Don’t debate me, debate your muva.
"Don't raise your voice, improve your argument."
I love that social media and the podcast era has given people the opportunity to make money and in some cases quit their jobs and make a career out of it. However a lot of these trendy/controversial topics are played out and led to low vibration conversations and no solutions. Therefore, we need to move forward with a new set of topics and work on having healthy debates that led to more resolutions and less dead ends.
Here’s a list of topics that I’m tired of (I know some of y'all are tired of it too) and I pray God releases some of my people from the chokehold that these topics have on us.
50/50 debate. The answer is simple, find somebody who believes in the same financial and household contributions as you. Some girls refuse to go 50/50 and that’s fine, while some girls are willing to go half on any and everything. Dating in your tax bracket and dating people who share the same mindset as you when it comes to money, running a household, etc. is highly important. Also there's no right or wrong way to run your relationship. Personally, I’m not going 50/50 financially because that means without my half or his half of the money we can’t survive without each other and I don’t like that. Plus if I decide to have a kid one day he needs to be able to pay the bills as well as help around the house. Also I'm speaking from a perspective as a women who's yet to date a man who's mentioned the 50/50 madness.
Who’s plate should you fix first. Everybody’s household is different and nobody is right or wrong for whoever gets to enjoy the meal first. Ideally, I would like to cook and serve my entire household. However I'm not there yet and right now my mindset is if I cook then I’m fixing my food first and everybody else can fix their own plate whenever they’re ready to eat.
Being submissive. If your really that nigga then she’s going to be submissive and if she’s not then that’s on you. I wish men would end this dead-end conversation and evaluate why they can’t get their woman or any women for that matter to allow them to lead. Also remember submission is for husbands only, anybody else requesting submission is out of line and not following God’s word.
Bashing women who want to be a city girl, the rich auntie, a hot girl, living the soft girl life, etc. I’m so tired of men bashing women and even women bashing other women. Let the girls be whoever they want to be and may the odds be in their favor. If how they’re living their life isn’t harming you, then you really shouldn't give a fuck about what they’re doing. Also stop watching and following women if you don't like their lifestyle and content, some of y'all are very weird and obsessed with keeping up with a group of women that you swear you don't like.
Entertaining Kanye Antics. Kanye has been doing the most since his VMA rant in 2016. Honestly he’s been doing too much since he cut Taylor Swift off during her acceptance speech in 2009. Everything he does isn’t a genius move and just because you're not a Kim fan (I’m not either) doesn’t make it right for him to bash and taunts his ex-wife. Kanye has issues beyond his antics and black people have more pressing issues to address than why Kanye went off the deep end again.
Supporting R. Kelly. At this point most of us have seen that disgusting tape or watched the 2019 documentary. Continuing to listen to his music is one thing, but arguing with people and calling all those victims liars or saying they knew what they were doing is sick. Openly supporting him says a lot about who you are and what you stand for.
Men being sassy & always talking down on women. Sometimes I wish men couldn’t purchase any more podcast equipment. Men need to stay out of women’s business, period. It’s interesting how men will spend their free time talking about a group of women that they swear they’re not interested in, at this point it's giving "why you're so obsessed with me."
Making your relationship your persona & idolizing social media couples. Being in a relationship isn’t a personality trait and it certainly doesn’t make you better than the next women. The social media couples are cute but that’s not real life. Real couples aren't always shopping, doing pranks, etc. From 2020 to now we’ve seen so many couple such as Saweetie & Quavo, Tia Momry & Cory, etc. break up. Don’t get too invested in somebody else’s relationship and don’t let another relationship be the blueprint for your relationship. It’s cool to admire something but make sure your relationship goals are realistic and aligns with who you are vs. what social media tells you a relationship is supposed to be. Contrary to popular belief everybody doesn't want the same things when it comes to a romantic relationship.
Blue & Chrisean. I’m so tired of this toxic ass couple and everybody commenting on it. Anybody who’s been in a toxic situation knows she’ll leave when she’s ready and at this point as outsiders all we can do is pray that she'll get out of the situation soon without a baby or a life long STD. (Too late she's pregnant again for the 4th time smh, god bless that baby if she keeps it this time.)
Think pieces. Unless you're adding value to the topic or you’re a blogger, Youtuber, etc. (like me) the unnecessary think pieces about everything ends to stop. Everything doesn’t warrant a social media debate. Let people do whatever they want to do.
Honorable mention: Splitting the bill when it’s your birthday or a group event. Everybody's finances are different and although this topic is exhausting I’m going to discuss the financial aspects of having something for your birthday during my birthday month in August.
Please like, comment, and share this post. Let me know what are topics or debates you'd like to me speak on. I have so many ideas for the blog and I can't wait to share more when the time comes.
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"Those who cannot understand how to put their thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of debate."
- Friedrich Nietsche