Updated: Nov 10
Disclaimer: I like the women whose names will be mentioned below so my viewpoint may be biased, but I did my best to speak from a non-bias standpoint.
"Pussy run everything, fuck that noise." - Drake
Today’s post was inspired by the controversial topic of certain instagram/IT girls rebranding themselves by promoting modesty, women empowerment, and believing in God after encouraging women to be sexually liberated. Being sexually liberated is often synonymous with being promiscuous which is defined as having numerous short term sexual relationships. Personally, I don’t associate these two terms with having the same meaning. I’ve always viewed being sexually liberated as a woman's right to have sex if and when she desires, whereas being promiscuous focuses on having carefree/reckless sex as frequently as you can. Anywho, the girls who are being called out for this change are Amber Rose, Brittany Renner, and Alexis Sky.
If you’re not familiar with their names, let’s do a quick rundown on who they are. Amber Rose has two kids and two baby daddies. She’s divorced and the second baby daddy was a serial cheater. Amber went from hosting an annual slut walk to openly venting about how much her ex has cheated on her and vocalizing her overall dislike for men. Alexis Sky is known for dealing with men in the entertainment/athletic industry and she has a baby daddy who isn’t active in her daughter’s life. She recently announced that she’s dedicated her life to God and it's impacted how she’s used to making money. Then there’s Brittany who’s notorious for seeking out and dating younger men and treating men the same way that they treat women. Within the last few months she’s discussed on several podcasts how she has a different relationship with herself and her body now, and she’s encouraging other women to value themselves more.
I've never followed these women except for Alexis, but I’ve seen all of their content before and I didn’t view these changes and announcements as a rebrand moment. It’s been a pleasure to watch Alexis talk about God and her spiritual journey. However, according to the Tiktok girlies these announcements and changes are b.s and since being promiscuous didn’t work in their favor they’re switching it up and influencing modesty and valuing your body.
Let’s get into some of my thoughts and things to consider when it comes to social media, the sexual liberation narrative, and the ongoing backlash.
Amber’s slut walk was deeper than sexual liberation. For some reason this event was always viewed as women coming together to encourage other women to be a slut. However the actual mission of this event was to bring awareness to gender inequality and combat sexual violence and body shaming against women. Furthermore Amber isn’t the first person to have a slut walk and this movement started in Toronto in 2011 to call an end to rape culture which involves victim blaming and slut shaming. Her event always had a positive meaning yet social media found a way to use her past as a reason to discredit the movement and mission.
Your body, your choice. Unless you’re sexually assaulted it’s always going to be a personal decision to engage in sexual activities. The key is to make choices that you can live with and not feel ashamed after you WILLING participate in these sexual encounters.
Results may vary. Arguably these women were having sex with high profile men and gaining a lot of attention and materialistic things from these encounters. However, having sex with a man who has money and status doesn’t guarantee that the next girl will have the same outcome. Everybody is different therefore, just because you saw these girls doing something and gaining the things you want in this lifetime never guaranteed that if you did the same thing that you would get the same results. A great example of results may vary is Jayda and Ari are the top two IG girls who had babies by well known rappers, but how many women have babies by a rapper yet they’re not IG famous. Nobody cares about Drake, Future, etc. baby momma.
Social media isn’t real. Some of y’all forgot that most people including the IG girls get online and promote whatever looks good even if it’s not the whole story. I never believed that some of them were running game on men and acquiring certain trips and materialistic items without giving up some coochie. Be mindful of what you believe. Anybody can create a profile, upload content, and pretend that life is something that it's not.
Is it rebranding or did they evolve as women? These girls have spent their 20’s living a certain lifestyle and as you get older your mindset changes. Naturally their content is going to change and evolve as they change and evolve as a woman.
People rebrand all the time. Why is it an issue that they’re rebranding, and it’s not like they aren’t being open and honest with their audience regarding the change in their content. Some brands and companies make changes without informing their audience, case and point is the Honeypot brand.
Some people are too invested. I get that they played a part in living a certain lifestyle but some of y’all are too invested and care too much. Go outside and touch grass.
You need to be mindful of what you consume. Regardless of what these girls and other influencers decide to promote you as a viewer have the choice to consume or not view their content. If you’re easily influenced then it’s time to re-evaluate your newsfeed. At some point you have to take responsibility for the choices you made and always keep in mind that results may vary.
People can change and evolve. One thing I hate about social media is that nobody is given grace or allowed the opportunity to change overtime. Just because they agreed with certain things in 2020 doesn’t mean that they can't advocate and believe in something else in 2023.
Being modest or a slut doesn’t guarantee anything. There’s a myth that being a good girl means guys are going to treat you better and that’s not true. Look at India, Lil Durk’s baby momma as a prime example of a lowkey and quite good girl who still got embarrassed by her baby daddy. I feel like the focus needs to shift from what type of woman you are to what type of man is he and what his intentions are. If he doesn’t value women or see the value in you it doesn’t matter if you're modest, a current, or retired hoe the outcome of him being disrespectful and disloyal would still be the same.
To wrap it up, I feel like these women have had a spiritual awakening and realized that living a certain lifestyle no longer benefitted them. Some people feel like the promiscuous and having fun era didn't work in their favor, but I truly believe they had their fun, they got their things, and it's time to move on to the next chapter of their life. I applaud them for making an effort to change and sharing their journey with their audience. Brittany has admitted that she's not proud of certain choices but she's owning it and making an effort to do better in her 30's and people should respect that. Real change takes time and if you don't support their change unfollow them and let them evolve without your judgements and unnecessary commentary.
Always know that I’m here for any woman who’s committed to becoming a better version of herself and it’s okay to be whatever type of woman you want to be as long as you can live in your truth.
"You changed. Yeah I had a spiritual awakening and became aware of what I would no longer tolerate."
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