Updated: May 24, 2022
“Submit: to refer for judgement or consideration, or yield to the control of another” – Wordbook dictionary
Time and time and time again the discussion of “women should be submissive” continues to create an uproar. The latest person to stir the pot is Fantasia when she gave her commentary on marriage and why some women can’t find a man because they don’t know how to submit during an interview on The Breakfast Club.
Now I agree with what she said to a point. Yes when you’re in a committed relationship better yet a healthy marriage it’s important to submit to your man. Even the bible speaks of “Wives submit into your husband,” keyword husband. On some real shit being submissive technically applies to marriages not these crumby crusty half ass relationships. The bible also states, “The husband is head of the house,” once again the keyword is husband. Don’t confuse the standards for marriage and being a wife with being everything to a man who’s nothing more than your boyfriend, baby daddy, side nigga, or unofficial boyfriend. On the bright side though there’s nothing wrong with letting your man take the lead. In fact it’s one of the greatest feelings to know you can trust your man to provide, protect, and be your everything.
However, the underlining issue isn’t why women won’t submit, but what are women submitting too? Fifty years ago women had no choice but to submit to their husband because he provided and held down the household while she took care of the kids and held it down at home. Fast forward to the 21st century where women are mom-entrepreneurs, getting degrees, and holding it down without a man. This type of independence in my generation has changed the game. Unlike our grandmas, mommas, and aunties we don’t have to wait on a man to do nothing for us, which intimidates some men and makes some females feel like they don’t need a man.
In my opinion the more independent a woman is the harder it is to date. When you have your shit together a man knows he can’t convince you to do some bullshit by pulling or trying to use the term “be submissive” or “you never listen” as leverage. Which brings me to my final thoughts... if you want a woman to be submissive then you need to be the type of man she would want to submit too. Sorry not sorry, you can’t be a little bitch, a broke bum, lack a sense of direction, etc. and wonder why she’s not being submissive. Y’all men be having me and some many other women fucked up. (Btw I’m still happily dating him & he thankfully he doesn’t have me fucked up ahahaha)
Here’s a list of what being submissive is not
· Being controlling. Somehow this generation of men equate being submissive to having total control of a female which is false. A relationship/marriage is a two-way street not a dictatorship.
· Losing your common sense. Ladies being submissive doesn’t mean being dumb as hell. Don’t agree to the bullshit, always speak out, and ask questions if something doesn’t sit right with you.
· Uncomfortable sexual encounters. When I googled the word submissive nothing, but intimacy and sexual moments appeared. Ladies, you always have the right to say no to threesomes, open relationships, and whatever other sexual fantasies he has that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t be on that fifty shades of grey shit unless you want to.
To conclude relationships are a union and you have to mesh with the right person to be submissive and maintain a healthy relationship. Be on some king and queen shit and never forget a queen will always be a queen but what’s a king without a queen?
“The women is the neck and the man is the head, but without the neck the head can’t move.” – Fantasia (think about it)