Disclaimer: I feel like nobody gives black women any grace, including other black women. Also, I like these girls and Imma stick beside them.
"I had to take you from where you thought you needed to be to a place you didn't want to see, so that you'd grown into the person I called you to be."
I touched on this topic a few weeks ago and here's the link to that post https://www.twentysomethingsxo.com/post/a-promiscuous-spiritual-awakening
Right now there's a hate train and a lot of negativity surrounding certain IG baddies changing their content and lifestyle. Alexis Skyy and Blac Chyna are currently the top two baddies facing the most heat. For almost a decade we've seen them on reality TV, promoting and getting paid for club appearances, and being on the blogs for baby daddy drama, but now they're sharing their healing/spiritual journey which is a beautiful thing.
Here's seven things I've noticed from watching their journey over the pass few weeks which is separation is apart of elevation, people don't give black women the grace or space to evolve, change is a good thing, people love negativity, support is sold separately, accountability is missing, and no matter what you do you can't please everybody.
Let's get into it...
Separation: Any successful or spiritual person will tell you that before you can elevate yourself you have to separate from people, places, and things that no longer serve you or align with who you want to be. Alexis recently did an interview with Baller Alert (popular blog) where she explained how she was making a lot of money from club appearances, Love & Hip Hop, etc. but she was depressed. She had a spiritual awakening when she realized that if she wanted something different she had to do something different. She stopped the club appearances, excessive drinking, provocative post, and quit reality TV. Now she's praying more, revamped her IG page, and using her platform to promote healing and God. She's in a happier space now and none of that would've been possible until she separated herself from the lifestyle that was costing her her mental and spiritual well-being. Separation isn't easy but it's necessary to become a better version of yourself. Take an inventory of your life from the people you hang around, the activities you do, your job, etc. and start removing yourself from the people, places, and things that doesn't align with your future self.
Give grace. Yes, they've influenced certain behaviors and encouraged women to seek out a certain lifestyle, but they've acknowledged their past and they're moving forward in a healthy direction while still using their influence in a positive way. They could've deactivated their socials or dismissed the negative impact that they've had online, but they've chosen to share their healing journey which is commendable seeing as most people never admit when they're at fault, let alone acknowledging it publicly. As of this week Alexis apologized through an IG video to the girls that she's had beef with in her industry and Blac Chyna shared that she got baptized last year on her birthday. Change is hard but they're doing it and doing it publicly too. Give them grace, and if other races of women are allowed to change then why can't black women be granted that same privilege. If you don't support them or have anything positive to say please do them and yourself a favorite and stop following or engaging in content that involves them.
Change is good. Real change takes time and nine times out of ten most changes are for the better. Some people will try to use your past against to invalidate your changes but don't let nobody sit on their high horse and look down on you for who you use to be. The reality is everybody has done shit that they're not proud of or wish they would've made different choices, but the difference is their choices and mistakes isn't on a public platform. Let them change and heal in peace.
People pleasing. No matter what lifestyle you decide to live as a woman you can't please everybody. When they were in the club and taking trips with rich niggas the people talked down on that, now they're healing and promoting God and the people hate that too. Then there's a range of more black women living different lifestyles and none of them have managed to appease everybody either. Caresha is happy city girl and people use every opportunity they can to call her stupid. Ciara ended her engagement to Future, bettered herself, got married, had 2 kids, and the minute she wore a revealing outfit while she was out with her husband the people got mad. Ashanti is unproblematic and always traveling yet people are mad that she hasn't gotten married or had kids. No matter what you do as a black women keep in mind that you can't please everybody and the goal should always be to please yourself and do what makes you happy.
Accountability. I'm tired of people blaming the baddies for what other grown women decided to do. Peer pressure and being influenced is a real thing, but at some point as a grown women you have to take accountability for the choices you willingly made. I love the city girls but they haven't influenced me to scam or seek out men solely for monetary gains. Advice tip, if you're easily influenced then it's time to stop engaging in content that encourages poor behavior.
Negativity. People are messy and in denial that they love negativity. When Blac Chyna was suing the Kardashians and on Zeus with her mom the blogs was eating it up but the traction hasn't been the same since she shared her baptism and process of her getting her fillers removed. I can also say from a personal standpoint when I pen a somebody's son post the views are great, but there's a performance difference when I write post regarding my own healing and becoming better journey.
Support is sold separately. For some reason people engage and endorse bullshit over getting your shit together which makes the healing and elevation journey lonely sometimes. It's interesting how people will support and sponsor a lit night, but how many of those same people will encourage you to go to the gym or support your new business venture. People like to see you doing good but not better than them which is another reason why separation is a major key to elevation. Also people tend to support things that resonate with who they currently are. I remember when B. Simone started her fitness journey, healing from her breakup, and promoting her podcast which was a switch up from the skits and other content that she use to post. I missed the old her for a while, but once I stepped into the era that I'm in now her content and podcast hit different. Some people can't support what they don't understand.
To wrap it up their journey continues to resonate with me as I'm changing and longing to have a better relationship with God and I hope they continue to share their experience and keep bringing light and love to other women's lives. Having peace and being in alignment with God is chef's kiss and always remember God thought enough of these girls and other women in society to die for them as well as give them a second chance to love him out loud.
P.S I already know the socials are going to be in shambles when the reformed baddies get married one day and start living the good life just like Ciara.
"I gotta stop trying to write my own story and give the pen back to God."
- Breebree Sims
Here's a recommended list of socials and Youtubers to follow if your healing or elevating yourself
Know for sure
Therapy for black girls
Black Girls Heal
Make sure your following me on all social media platforms including
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