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It's strict in this bitch

Disclaimer: This is meant to be a light hearted post, but some people online have pissed me TF off for this year and yes I know this year just started.

"Ain't no stranger on the net, finna tell me 'bout my life, though." - Big Latto

As social media continues to grow so does the outlandish rules and regulations.

I feel like every week there's a new tweet, IG post, or Tiktok video condemning people for doing what was once upon a time normal or socially acceptable.

Why is everybody trying to be the life alert police or a relationship expert.


Let's get into the list of things that I've learned is an issue according to the socials


  • Men can't smoke hookah nor order certain drinks or entrees because that means he's in his sassy feminine era. Men get on my nerves and I be on their asses a lot, but sometimes I feel bad for them. Anything men do now and days is labeled sassy which is unfair. So what if that man wants to order a strawberry lemonade, that should be the less of your concerns.

  • You're not a baddie if you don't have a BBL, boobs, or teeth. Being a baddie is a mindset (check out Karla Tobie on Tiktok for context). It's not about what's on you but rather what's in you, let that sink in. I support plastic surgery, but do it for you and not for the internet. BBL's are one of the most dangerous elective surgeries, and outside of the socials and nightlife the baddie aesthetic doesn't exist. In the words of J. Cole, "Love yourself girl or nobody will."

  • Brown cabinets are ugly and embarrassing. Honorable mention, white refrigerators (Tiktok). What's embarrassing is trying to shame people who have a roof over their head and manage to pay rent in this economy. I love my silver refrigerator, keyless entry, etc. but it's not too different from my previous apartments that had a black refrigerator, and I still have brown cabinets (most apts. have brown cabinets btw).

  • Pandora engagement ring is low effort (TikTok). I'm very annoyed with all the girls who rained on this girl parade after she got engaged. She was happy and not hopping online bashing her man so why did other girls get so upset. They're ring expectations and her ring expectations is two different things. This also proves my point when I tell people to keep their relationship or anything they truly love off the internet. I hope this girl continues to be happy and don't let the hate online make her leave what appears to be a healthy relationship. Also, everybody man isn't going to be a BDB. If they're making the average income what kind of ring was she supposed to get, and no he shouldn't have gone into debt over a ring. The value of the ring should match the couple's income.

  • Clean girl aesthetic is out and mob wives aesthetic is in. I hate all the aesthetic trends because it's rooted in making a group of women feeling superior than other women. I also don't understand why mob wives is an aesthetic. They live a dangerous life outside of wearing sunglasses and fur coats. It's giving some people never watched an episode of Mob Wives. Outside of fashion nothing about Renee, Karen, & Drita's lifestyle looked lit. Be careful following aesthetics and trends.

  • Black or brown lip liner is ghetto. The ghetto girl aesthetics been eating since the early 90's. Keep wearing your lip liner sis.

  • Eating at Cheesecake Factory or other chain restaurants should be beneath you especially for a 1st date (Tiktok). The bread at the Factory be hitting and certain demographics only have chain restaurants. As long as the food quality and atmosphere is to your liking, eat wherever you want to eat at.

  • You can't shop at Shein, Fashion Nova, etc. & have dating standards (Tweet). Most people's favorite influencer promotes and wears clothes from these typical online stores. It's also not about the cost of the clothes, but how you put that shit on. Furthermore, just because you don't spend money on clothes doesn't mean your broke or can't require a man to court you correctly. Also if we stop shopping at these stores where are we supposed to get clothes from, not these overpriced boutiques who have the same vendors as Pretty Little Things, Boo hoo, etc.

  • Roku TV means your cheap (Tiktok). A TV is a TV and last time I checked the quality of the TV matters more than the brand. I've had a $132 Roku TV for 3 years and it still gets the job done. I'm actually about to turn the 32 inch TV into a monitor until I can an iMac.

  • Braids are not appropriate for birthdays (Tiktok). First the argument was about how to split the bill and now braids isn't good enough. Braids can be styled numerous ways and as long as you look cute who gives a fuck. Being anti-braids is lowkey giving internalized racism.

  • Any age over 30 is old and honorable mention is turning 25 (all socials). The way the world is going these young hoes need to pray that they'll live to see 25, let alone 30. I'm so over age shaming, if you live long enough you'll be 30, 40, 50, etc. one day. It's also interesting how the generation that's age shaming is trending on TikTok for aging badly.

  • If you're okay with having a 9-5, you'll be broke and unhappy. Entrepreneurship isn't for everybody. If you like your job and it works for your lifestyle keep your job. You don't get the luxury of clocking in and out from entrepreneurship.

  • Vacation shaming. I don't care if you went to Mytrle Beach, Miami, Jamaica, or Bora Bora a vacation is a vacation. You took off from work and spent your hard enjoyed coins, enjoy your vacation.

  • You're dirty if you don't have 3 wash cloths. Be fucking for real. 2 wash cloths is one thing, but 3 being the standard is excessive.

  • Everything being labeled a trauma response. Everybody doesn't like the same thing, some people really are tired of people and they're bullshit, and some people fail to listen to their senses. None of that has to do with trauma. Until you have degree in mental health its insane to label people's behavior as a trauma response.

  • Anybody with boundaries who stands by them are narcissist or have an avoidant attachment style. Standing on business doesn't equate to being a narcissist. Some people learned this word and ran with it. Also how does somebody have an avoidant attachment style if they set clear boundaries. Somebody who avoids people wouldn't set boundaries, they would go ghost. Once again too many people with no psych degree are too quick to diagnosis people.

  • People who enjoy going outside don't have goals in life and being a mysterious homebody is where it's at. Life is about balance and as long as having fun doesn't take over your life it's fine to go out and live a little. It's also fine to enjoy being in the house.

  • Be mysterious. Don't share your goals, business, etc. with nobody not even your close friends. Oversharing isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it's an opportunity for others to learn from somebody else's mistakes. Also life would be boring if nobody shared their business.

  • People who get on social media a lot don't have a life and need to work on themselves. The socials aren't for everybody but more people should log off and never come back verses projecting their feelings onto others. I unplug frequently and I don't make a scene prior to logging out. Also content is how a lot of people are getting to the bag.

  • Anything a woman do for a man is labeled pick me or you're acting like his momma. If you're a lover girl and you have a good man don't let these hoes trick you out of a happy and healthy relationship. A situation is trending on Tiktok after a guy posted his girl buttering his waffles and some random girl made a video saying she acting like his mom. Damn it's strict in this bitch, when did it become a crime to do something nice for your partner. The unwarranted think pieces about somebody else's relationships have to stop but that's another post that's coming soon.

  • If a man doesn't do this, that, & the third then he's not a good man. Struggle love is real, but if that man is doing his part according to his finances and your standards stay with that man, sis.


Everybody's entitled to their opinions, but my grievance with these statements is it's rooted in shaming other people. You can have your standards or opinions without downplaying somebody else. Everybody act like they're too cool for certain shit and that's crazy as fuck to me. I don't like Little Caesar's pizza, but I'm also not online making post or videos telling people they're a broke bitch if they still eat Little Caesars.


To wrap it up let's normalize living for you and doing whatever you want to do in 2024.

It's okay for men to enjoy their lives.

It's okay to unplug from the socials or keep pushing content if you want to be a creator.

It's okay to get your body done or get in the gym.

It's okay to be single and not desiring a man.

It's okay to love that man and be a lover girl.

It's okay to live in a normal apartment that's within your budget. These people online aren't paying your bills and it's stupid to cosplay like you're rich to a demographic of people who are struggling too. Most of America is middle class and qualified for a stimulus check, remember that!

It's okay to want a provider.

It's okay to date somebody who can't finance your entire lifestyle.

It's okay to be a fun girl.

It's okay to be a homebody.

It's okay to do whatever, as long as nobody else is getting hurt or used in the process.


I stand by social media is a scheme set up by Todd and all the rules are fake, do you sis!


"Y'all be getting real nasty to each other over opinions and differences in lifestyles, that shit crazy."


Make sure your following the correct social platforms based off your interest: 


20 Somethings: Blog stuff & black girl content 

Instagram: 20somethingsxo 

Facebook Like Page: Twenty Somethings


Personal pages: More lifestyle content

IG & Tiktok: erica_nicolexo

Positive news: Your girl got approved for an Amazon storefront and please checkout my store and shop with me. https://www.amazon.com/shop/ericanicole

More positive news & the grand announcement…. The Pink Print Shop is open and ready for business. This part of the rebrand was supposed to occur at the top of the year but fear and procrastination held me back. I put a lot of time and effort into this line of business and new digital products will continue to be added over the next few weeks. I pray my digital products help you dream big and become the best version of yourself.


Pink Print Planners

Tiktok & IG: pinkprintplanners


Thank you so much for rocking with me and I love y’all for real. 







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